It’s a shameful state of affairs that there has arisen a need for old age homes in modern times. Why do we need these homes? Why are we considering our older relatives as a burden on us? Not too long ago we used to have a strong joint family system. It was an unquestioned norm of the society to take care if of the elderly. It was considered an honour and a blessing.
Sadly, joint families have become relics of the past. In this nuclear age, old people are considered a liability. Time is money. And time and money determine our priorities today. Why are old age homes a symbol of societal ingratitude? Obviously, the absence of near and dear ones and the lack of their love and affection are the causes. Definitely, old age homes stand out as sore thumbs in the society, symbolic of our negligence towards our aged parents. As Thomas Merton, a catholic author rightly said, ‘These people, who live the evening of their lives in old age homes live unloved and die unmourned. Death comes to them as a great reliever.’
Are we not negating the role they have played in catapulting us to what we are today? Can we be so mean and selfish? Do we ever realise how priceless senior citizens are to the nation because of their wide experience and wisdom? How can we overlook their sad forlorn faces and concentrate on our triumphs? Don’t you remember all those countless hurdles and sleepless nights they have faced?
So why don’t we make a fresh start? Let’s work together to weave a web of love and compassion to shelter our elders who have been torch lights of guidance all their lives for us.
The elderly of the world today are more in need of love, kindness, safety and comfort from their own children and family members than that coming from a stranger. They can do without the amenities and/or luxuries that any OLD AGE HOME, SANITARIUM or GERIATRIC HOSPITAL WARD can give them. You might very well be paying a high price to keep a domestic helper or cook for your elderly parent(s) or grand-parent(s) – but that is not what the elderly really WANT. They need the aid of a helper in their daily lives, it is true – but it is for a smile, a kind, polite word, attention and love that they really crave for. They crave for somebody who will talk to them and laugh with them – people who will stay by their side when the darkness of night falls and the fear of dying alone creeps in. Whether you want to believe it or not, old people crave for a TRUE AND LOYAL FRIEND. An emotional and moral “SUPPORT SYSTEM” that comes from one’s own loving and caring family members has more curative value in the longer run than all the allopathic drugs and medicines put together.
now a days our Indian society is intensely influenced by the western world.. & we have become obsessed with money so that we are gradually losing our morality. its time to realise that Aged parents are like children. & we should take care of them… finally i wanna say 1 thing that WHATEVER WE GIVE IN THE PRESENT ONLY WE WILL GET IN THE FUTURE….!!! so
it is preferable if possible and the children are willing to look after you. in case the children are not favourable then it is preferred to live in a good old age home who can take care of of you till your death. but the people who do not have their children then the preference is to live in old age home only
old people are big support for the family. bcz they are our base and having better experinces den new age people. and bcz old age people we r kwn in the society.and they r the strength of the family. so don’t let dem to old age home keep them in family bcz in this age they need family support and care…….
well according to me everyone has right to live with their family happily ….. to days people are trying to avoid their responsibility … they think old parents are only burden…there is no use of them…but i think if you got saperate by your old parents ..send them old age home.. then you are the next one who will suffer the same problem…. Can not agree with your view even with best effort. Did our parents think the same way when they spared time, attention and energy for us? The answer is no.
If our parents could find time for us, surely we as well, can think the same way both for our children and parents. Provide quality time as also while we need to pay back even if it is at the cost of a few promotions less in job or making less money in other vocations. Being competitive was very much known to our parents as well and so was the rat-race, yet if they avoided we must appreciate that gesture.
Of course few from “Rat-race” may realize of this being a differentiating factors to be called Human.
my opinion Parents make great sacrifices for the care of their children. Day after day, parents protect their children from danger, attend to their cries, and reassure them after a bad dream. Parents give up necessities for their children everyday….But when the children grown up and if they reach better postion in the society, they are forgetting their own parents……I cant able to undersatnd, how they(children) can forget their past life???how they can avoid their own parents in their life???Is it Good?
that it’s shamefull that we have to discuss this matter as we are forgetting our culture which tell us that mother father are god in the world . I agree with your views that parents must be kept with us if required we can keep servent to tocare for them in our absence and after coming from work we can spend some time with them .This much will keep them happy .
Our parents are taking too many difficulties or we can say they are sacrificing for the welfare of their children. Hence it should not be the right thing to leave them in the oldage homes. It is the duty of every one to keep their old age parents with them and should be taken care by their children. In case the old age parents are left in the homes by you, which will be watched by your own children and tomorrow you will meet the same thing by your children.
Whether elderly people should live with their children and grandchildren or in retirement homes depends on their personal choice and the circumstances in which they have been living till then.I personally feel elderly people must live with their children and grand children. The chief reason for my view is old people are like infants who need constant care and attention.Most of them have some or the other medical conditions which may require assistance from people around.Some people may or may not be financially sound to live in retirement homes.Above all,it is the primary duty of the children to take care of their parents at such an age For example,In India most of the parents live with their children in their older age.This develops bond between different generations and bridges the gap between them.Younger generation can learn a lot from the older generation where as older generation can know about the progress which the newer generations are making.
Moreover living with the family creates a sense of security and warmth which might be lacking in any other type of residences.Finally,living with the family would be a better option. They did not ponder much about lack of privacy whenever we barged into their romantic rendezvous. They did it all for Us! Is this how we pay back? By dumping them in old age homes? i know Okay, times have changed. Now, both parents might have to work to run the home. Maybe, we don’t want to miss out on our promotions. After all, the money from that promotion will also be used to give parents a ‘better old age home!!’ And now-a-days, old age homes are all spruced up like hotels with all facilities including medicine and entertainment readily available.
Fine, but pray tell me, if we have the time to party, if we have the time to watch television can we not find a little time for our parents at home? Is it too much to ask for? Old age homes may provide all material requirements but surely, we are wise enough( or are we?!) to understand that an old age home cannot fill in the vacuum of love and affection that only a family can provide. Even if we call them every other day, can the phone call fulfill the anticipations and expectation that a parent has to meet his/her son or/and daughter?
Come on friend , I am telling you a little story ” one day my friend’s father made a little mistake then my friend shout on them.. his father replied , son , when you were small (child) you made lot of errors but i never rebuked on you , you did several mistake but i always tried to show you good manner to do that task. but today , when i am getting sick , my memory and body is not supporting me , you are not doing the same as what i did in past for you . Friends they are treasure for us, with lot of experience of life, with lot of love, with lot of honor . don’t loo se you wealth , they are root of your life , without root , you will not be strong and steady.
I believe that they should live in family and with family.I believe that whatever we do we do it for our family.If we can manage our small kids who also want special care why not our parents.We dont send them to some other kid care center then why there is problem with parents.If one can afford them to old age home then it could also be managed, care and attention could also be provided at our home by arranging some professionals who will come to home and take care of them.Definitely it cost higher but I think they deserve it.They don’t need money,they need family and want to die in front of there loved one rather than some unknown professional.
We should understand that no matter how high we rise in our life but we are in life because of them and we should help them to get the LOVE,RESPECT that they deserve. Here I want to post something that i recently gone through.
Today I’m sharing something that is very close to us & also very true. We all go through this …plz read through…
At 4 Years My daddy is great. At 6 Years My daddy knows everybody. At 10 Years My daddy is good but is short tempered At 12 Years My daddy was very nice to me when I was young. At 14 Years My daddy is getting fastidious. At 16 Years My daddy is not in line with the current times. At 18 Years My daddy is becoming increasingly cranky. At 20 Years Oh! It’s becoming difficult to tolerate daddy. Wonder how Mother puts up with him. At 25 Years Daddy is objecting to everything. At 30 Years it’s becoming difficult to manage my son. I was so scared of my father when I was young. At 40 Years Daddy brought me up with so much discipline. Even I should do the same. At 45 Years I am baffled as to how my daddy brought us up. At 50 Years My daddy faced so many hardships to bring us up. I am unable to manage A Single son. At 55 Years My daddy was so far sighted and planned so many things for us. He is one of his kind and unique. At 60 Years My daddy is great. Thus, it took 56 years to complete the cycle and come back to the 1st. Stage.
Realize the true value of your parents before it’s too late…………………….
Bye the way I want to thank the owner of this debate and to Disha.who gave me an opportunity to take part in this debate
I don’t think people have time today even to take care of their own parents, I mean they are busy running behind money and creating better future for themselves but are forgetting who provided a better future for them in the first place, and even parents at times think that they don’t want to be a burden on their children and they themselves at times get registered to these oldage homes, as they are seeing whats happening infront of them and they dont want to be let down by their own kids infront of others
I strongly feel that older people should spend rest of their lives with their children because there are some things that money can’t buy especially “LOVE”. Old age especially demands affection. Children are brought up by their parents since they are too young. Especially in a society to which I belong,
Technology-integration in Old Age Homes in India A Status Paper Sugan Bhatia, Ph.D. President Indian University Association for Continuing Education Delhi 1.1 The elderly (aged 60 years and above) in India account for more than 9 percent of the total population. The National Population Commission estimated that the population of the elderly is expected to grow from 71 million in 2001 to 173 million in 2026. This demographic scenario appears to indicate a very precarious condition for the older persons in terms of their capability to enjoy the right to life with dignity. While those in the age group 60-69 years could be expected to lead a fairly healthy life and offer their services as volunteers for informal care giving to others in the two higher age groups, both the 70-79 years age group and the 80 + years age group would require critical social and medical healthcare support – both informal care giving and formal care giving.
1.2 The growing incidence of elder abuse and severe fissures in the multigenerational family or household has forced many older persons to abandon their family home; some of them have also been “pushed out” and have thus been left shelter-less. Most urban areas appear to have a growing incidence of cases of abandoned elderly. A new culture of “peer group participation” being attempted by the old persons appears to be taking roots in many parts of urban India; Old Age Homes of various types are rapidly becoming a choice for many “abandoned”, “left out” or “neglected” old persons with or without survival resources. 1.3 The vision of “alternate shelter” for older persons, as enunciated in both national and global policy frameworks, includes Group housing for older persons, No physical barriers to mobility, Health care and nutritional support, Development of age-integrated communities, Recreation services, Age-friendly, easy and safe accessibility to shopping complexes, community centers, parks and other services, and Provision of ramps…