Love is Like Water

Love is Like Water, We can Fall in it, We can Drown in it, But we can’t Live Without it

Men are born inferior to women. Now I’m Sure there are many men who disagree, however it is a scientific fact. Any person born with the ‘y’ chromosome is born inferior. The conflicting views of men and women have been questioned and debated for centuries. For many years it is said that the male species are superior to women. It wasn’t until August 18, 1940 men deemed women smart enough to vote and have our own political voice. Men have always been the dominant species in most anything in society. It wasn’t until recent studies that show women actually have higher IQ’s then men. It is believed that juggling family life and building a career on top of that has made women smarter.

In reality Women and men brains are just wired differently. Men differ from women with their emotions, their affection and also their communication skills. Women are said to be more emotional than men The fact of the matter women do actually communicate with through emotions and intimacy. Research shows that women use language as a way to maintain and develop relationships. Women tend to react more emotionally than men, resulting in submerging themselves, (mind body and soul) into making decisions. For example, women often ask there signficant other “are you listening” and the man replies “yes honey I’m listening” and then we reply “what did I just say” It’s because women feed off of body language.

We believe that if your not looking at us, youre not listening. Men see women as less competent to making decisions that involve a lot of thought, and this is due to women’s emotions. Which is probably why a women have never been elected to be president. Women are just more emotional when it comes to, Movies, relationships, and everyday life trials and tribulations. Women use words to start and continue a relationship with a person they find special and close to their heart. They focus more on what they say and do when conversing, which explains why they also find listening an important part in a conversation. Those are the causes that affect women more then men. The difference of emotion is mostly noticed during the midst of a relationship, when a woman seems to not be understood by men and vice versa. Men on the other hand impulsively react to situations for the sake of having a reason to do so. Men tend to simplify their communication in times of hardship, they do not express themselves they way women do.

Many women believe that men are very simple minded with no knowledge of anything, and don’t care about anything. In reality most men can communicate and their patterns for thinking are based on logic and reasoning. Men communicate as a way of power rather than as a way of reaching out to another person. For men, conversation is the way you negotiate your status in the world and keep people from pushing you around. They use their communication skills to preserve their independence. Men tend to think that it is logical to state how important their lives are so that they would rise above other men and be seen as the “Alpha Male”. During a conversation, body language seems to play a much smaller role for men. Men tend to be less skilled at using body language to influence communication without seeming to be doing so. The male’s brain has a greater mass and more gray matter, which leads to a higher ability to process information as facts instead of their emotions like women. Women show affection in a lot of ways. Women show their affection by physical touch, holding hands, giving hugs, or rubbing our significant others back. Some women do it by saying nice things. Some do it by giving gifts.

Other women may show their affection by cooking you tasty dinners. There are a lot of ways to show affection, and no two women show it in exactly the same way. “Actions speak louder than words” is actually more than a cliché, it’s truer of men than it is for women in regard to how they show affection. men are more likely to show affection in unspoken ways through actions. There is less subtlety with men. When a guy cares about you, he is likely to find ways to spend time with you, whether enjoying your company or sharing activities such as movies, bowling, miniature golf etc. When a man cares about a women he wants to show her off. studies show that, even if a man is not particularly confident, he will try to engage in physical intimacy with the one he loves and cares deeply about. Women relationships focus on making connections talk is crucial to this process. Sharing secrets, relating experiences, revealing problems and discussing options are essential during a woman’s development.

Women generally take another approach to relationships. Their mate is not less profound, it’s just different. focusing on activities rather than conversation. Men believe communication should have a crystal clear purpose. Every conversation is suppose be problem solving or a point that needs to be made. Communication is used to get to the root of the an issue as efficiently as possible. Women uses communication to discover how she is feeling and what it is she wants to say. She sees conversation as an act of sharing and an opportunity to increase intimacy with her partner. A women tries to dispose negative feelings to strengthen her bond with the man she loves. Although there are many diffrences between men and women. For the most part, men and women use, and prefer, the same ways of comforting their partner.

Courtly Love in Romeo and juliet

How does Shakespeare show that Romeo’s love for Juliet is real? How do his words and actions differ from when he said he loved Rosaline? In Shakespeare’s play Romeo and Juliet, the introduction of Romeo to the audience is haunted by a melancholic mood. The scene is set in Verona where Romeo’s family is worried about him due to his rejection in love from a woman, Rosaline. However throughout the scenes studied, it seems that love is the primary driving force behind most of Romeo’s actions and words. In general, the theme of love and the course of it intertwine with the fate of the violent peacefulness of this tragedy. His determined desolation from his family stirs unease in his cousin, Benvolio. During the course of this tale, Romeo blooms to become a mature man, who has experienced the double edged blade of love itself.

The characterisation of Romeo in the beginning of the play illustrates him as dejected and depressed boy due to his infatuation with Rosaline being rejected. In spite of this, his spoken words of ‘love’ for her, for example: ‘Alas, that Love, whose view is muffled still…’ demonstrates the conventional manner of love that this is. Romeo’s words clarify how he sprouts courtly love poetry, which is machinated and processed. A modern example would be the phrase: ‘roses are red, violets are blue…’ a common phrase which is predictable and an inferior imitation to real love. Courtly love poetry was often used in those days by men with social status to court woman; the purpose behind this courting was to flaunt their skills. Would it be fair to say that Romeo courts for Rosaline’s love because it is the fashion of the season?

In Romeo’s first scene, Shakespeare litters the dialogue with negatives, as well as exaggerated words, such as: ‘sad hours seem long…Not having…short…Out of her favour…’ which displays the deep shallowness of his love for Rosaline. Not only Romeo’s word can suggest this, but on the contrary, so do his actions. For example in Act 1 Scene 1, information is revealed to the audience of how Romeo has not yet met Rosaline, but still waffles on about the flawed imperfection of love. His inexperience in real love may be obvious to the reader when he speaks numerous oxymorons.

The speech about love starts: ‘O brawling love, O loving hate, O anything of nothing first creates! O heavy lightness, serious vanity…Feather of lead…’ which illustrates the confused state that Romeo is in because of love. Leading to the point at which his inexperience and immature manner can be seen. The way in which Shakespeare clutters Romeo speech with riddles may indicate at whether if Romeo’s love or love in general can really be described as brawling and juxtaposed with hate? Shakespeare demonstrates how fickle Romeo really is in the beginning of the play. As known, the words of love from Romeo to Rosaline are all courtly love poetry; fake, clichéd and scattered with misrepresented ideas of love.

From his initial depression over his rejection of Rosaline’s love, to which he claims an eternity of sadness, to his new professed to Juliet at the Capulet ball. His inconstant change of his receiver of affections hint that his frivolous nature is what defines him. However, his short mourning of Rosaline can suggest of his instant connection with his other half of his soul, Juliet. His halted period of the ‘eternity of sadness’ can only illustrate the strong connection between the two lovers. ‘Love at first sight’ is a familiar phrase to describe how the two fell in love.

Could Romeo’s initial fickleness in love demonstrate the vast contrast when he meets Juliet? Romeo soon begins to genuinely fall in love with Juliet as well as idolising her. His first meeting with Juliet at the Capulet ball starts to weave a complicated web of reality, love, fate and death. It is at this moment that Romeo finally grasps/comprehends the true notion of love. His worship and love for Juliet may seem foolish and much like his initial infatuation for Rosaline at the beginning, however it is soon acknowledged that her refusal speaks something differently to him.

The full appreciation of this new confound feeling allows Romeo to continue his courting of Juliet with or without her rebuff. His encounter with Juliet could be considered as a ‘reality check’, to which he discovers the differences from his fixated crush on Rosaline to the arduous beauty he compares Juliet to. The unfamiliar sensation begins to broadens his outlook on love; opening his eyes to a fresh, passionate world. Shakespeare indicates the sincere affections of Romeo towards Juliet through their dialogue in the balcony scene, Act 2 Scene 2. Juliet soon teaches Romeo how to love properly and from then Romeo flourishes to appreciate the true meaning of love. A strong example of this is in the balcony scene, at which Romeo in his own peril tries to see Juliet. He sets the foundation of this scene when he begins to compare Juliet to all sorts of things of great beauty.

He sees Juliet as light and calls her ‘the Sun…’ He claims that even the moon, the traditional symbol for a woman’s beauty and purity, is envious of Juliet. This characterization is not merely dramatic. The use of these superlatives is meant to convey Romeo’s deep feelings. When compared to his earlier characterization of Rosaline, Romeo’s tribute to Juliet takes on even more significance. The difference between what Romeo says of Rosaline and what he says in the “But soft” speech about Juliet emphasises his adoration even more. His characterization of Rosaline commences with the traditional comparison to Diana. Romeo acknowledges that Rosaline is “rich in beauty” and that her beauty is defined in terms of her chastity.

It’s part of her appeal to Romeo. Romeo values Rosaline because she will not satisfy his desires; therefore, he thinks of her beauty as lost to ‘all posterity’. However, when he describes Juliet and invokes the sun, he suggests something far more potent: the eternal source of light and life-giving force of the heavens. Juliet’s beauty and warmth will live forever and do not depend upon Romeo’s perceptions. She exists independently of Romeo, and when Romeo thinks of Juliet, he dwells on her and not on what she will do for him. Romeo’s language demonstrates that although he was infatuated with Rosaline; he has no mere crush on Juliet. He is deeply in love, and the depth of his feelings demonstrates Romeo’s maturation. His speech is long and full of devotion, to which Juliet replies: ‘O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo?

(Oh Romeo, why do you have to be a Montague?)’. Her obvious fondness for her is displayed, although at this point Romeo is still sprouting his ‘courting’ words. In the middle of the dialogue, Juliet dares to interrupt Romeo on one of his ramblings as she is sorely frustrated with Romeo’s pretence. As he swears by the moon, Juliet responds by saying: ‘O swear not by the moon, th’inconstant moon. That monthly changes in her circled orb, lest that thy love prove likewise variable.’ Once Romeo is firmly ‘put in his place’ by Juliet by her professing that he speak directly to her and not swear on something that disappears in the day and is ever-changing. In addition, when at first Romeo kisses Juliet at the Capulet ball, she accuses him of kissing by the book (kissing expertly), which is the ‘Hallmark’ love that was shown in the beginning.

Shakespeare illustrates to the audience that Romeo and Juliet’s love in genuine through the comparison between his love for Rosaline and then his love for Juliet. As written by Shakespeare, Romeo proclaims to be in an eternity of sadness (darkness), however, he soon meets Juliet who is his ‘sunshine’ in his ‘darkness’. Even though Romeo had been rejected by Rosaline, he never tried to court her again, as if his determination went down the drain. On the other hand with Juliet, Romeo tried again and again to try to win her favour, to the point where he risked talking to her by sneaking into her garden. Although the language from Romeo in both scenes has been passionate, however a powerful example of their fated love is their first dialogue.

In the Capulet ball, their first encounter and dialogue encompasses in total 14 lines, more commonly known as a sonnet. Sonnets were often written about love, and using a sonnet in this sense shows how they are two halves of one soul; fated to be with each other, for without one half the other in incomplete. The language used is potent in every sense, personifying Romeo’s words when he talks to Juliet. His determination to win Juliet’s favour demonstrates his true ardour for her, whereas his lust for Rosaline left him desolated and irresolute. All of these factors lead to the one point that Romeo’s love for Juliet is real compared to his infatuation with Rosaline in the beginning.

In conclusion, a possible theory as to why Shakespeare shows this contrast in love, could be to illustrate when later in the tragedy, their deaths (suicides) were not foolish but bred of unadulterated and unconditional love. To emphasise that they were truly intertwined with each other as to the fact that they could not be separated, ‘til death do us part. Furthermore, it could also be said that Shakespeare showed this contrast to suggest that in this world there is a difference between lust and love, and the difference covers a broad horizon.

Perhaps Shakespeare wanted the audience to comprehend how sweet love can bring the most violent of outcomes and what is commonly read in poems or tales are unrealistic and not a true representative of what love is truly like. Maybe it was Shakespeare’s own way of providing the audience of a ‘reality check’, just as Juliet did with Romeo in the play. Many things could be understood from this play which interlocks countless themes of love, fate, death, time, individuality etc…, all of which conveys the immense expanse of possible ‘whys?’ as Shakespeare was trying to cover.

Why I Love Disrespecting My Elders

Coming from a Filipino family, my parents taught me to use “po” and “opo” every time I will be talking to elders and of course, to never dare to talk back— constantly telling me that these show respect. In addition, my former teachers would also repeat to me that I should always respect my elders. Since I was too young then and still incapable of thinking thoroughly, I used to believe that was the right thing to do. It was a good thing I realized it is not. Do not get me wrong. I value the word respect a lot that I see it as if it is something sacred. Respect for me is the third most precious, priceless gift a person could possibly give to someone (no matter what their age is), next to love and time. Therefore for me, earning one’s respect is a privilege.

A privilege that should only be granted to those people who truly deserve them; a privilege that could only be gained if one has done an act worthy of praise and admiration. Unfortunately, many Filipinos think of respect as something that it is mandatory to give to anyone who is older than them. But does it feel right showing respect to people you have seen doing unjust things to others only because they are older? Because in my case, it surely gives me a nausea when I am expected to greet a teacher “Good morning!” when I already heard her telling snide remarks to one of her students before. I also disrespect people who are in position but clearly have no idea of what their job is about and what they should be doing.

I have encountered a number of secretaries or persons in authority who would converse with me on formal matters and would speak to and address me as if I was just their high school friend, their little sister, and the worst of all, was one of their maids. As persons in authority who are engaged to talking to people every day, they should be mindful enough of how they would treat their clients. No matter how high one’s position is, I would never respect him if he acts like an uneducated person who is rude, arrogant, and impolite. And if in case he gets hurt by my usual disrespectful acts—being frank and straight-forward of my thoughts—I would never apologize, because he needs to know that what he was doing with his clients is wrong, and someone has to point it out to him, no matter how harsh it may sound.

Lastly, I disrespect them because they are not always right and they could be corrected. Being older does not mean one is already more intelligent, although they could be wiser due to their experiences, but still there is a possibility that some of today’s generation is smarter than of their parents’ generation. So I believe that letting the elders do away with their wrong philosophies in life would do no good to any side of the parties. I believe that having the courage to disrespect my elders does not only mean that I could step up for myself and express my opinion on what I think is right, but also it could help the elders to think and reflect more on their views of things, which for me is a good thing.

To sum everything up, all I want to say is: the reason why I love disrespecting older people is because I care for them. I want them to become better individuals for themselves and for the people they are interacting with every day in their own personal lives. All that for the hope that someday, everyone would become aware of how they affect their community and see their mistakes and realize what they must do to become better citizens of this country.

Love Theme in Pride and Prejudice

Love is the conquering theme in Pride and Prejudice. The love story between Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy gives rise to the theme that love can conquer over pride, prejudice, and even social hierarchies. Jane Austen uses the novel in order to propose that true love is precious and can conquer all things. Initially, Austen develops the theme by having love conquer Mr. Darcy’s pride. Mr. Darcy is at first cold and uninterested in the poor, socially inferior Ms. Bennet. He says, “She is tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt me” (Austen 31). He scorns the ball at Meryton, and says it’s a waste of his time (Austen 32). Mr. Darcy’s affections though begin to change after Elizabeth comes to Netherfield Park in order to take care of her sister, Jane.

The narrator states at this time, “He really believed, that were it not for the inferiority of her connections, he should be in some danger” (Austen 159). Mr. Darcy, surprisingly though, extends an offer of marriage to Elizabeth; He just proposes with the constant mention of how he is of higher standing, in so many ways, and how that this match is against his better judgment. Even while humbling himself to the point of asking a middle class woman to marry him, pride still exudes from his mouth. Ms. Bennet, needless to say, declines. This spurning of his proposal humbles him to the point where he once again asks for her hand, and this time humbly.

Austen shows love and affection subduing the proud Mr. Darcy humbling him to the point where he would happily marry a middle class girl of greatly inferior social standing, reputation, and wealth. Secondly, Jane Austen shows love conquering over Elizabeth’s prejudice. For the entire first half of the book, Elizabeth loathes Darcy and his social class. She finds him and his class snobbish, pretentious, and prideful. Elizabeth unrightfully believes rumors about him coming from the untruthful Wickham, and does not let Darcy defend himself against them. Elizabeth’s prejudice starts to subside though after Darcy’s marriage proposal and she gradually starts to trust and admire him, especially after Mr. Darcy’s servant Mrs. Reynolds’s speaks so kindly of him (Austen 755).

Elizabeth Bennet’s love for Darcy grew greatly the more knowledge she gained about him, which coincidentally destroyed Elizabeth’s prejudice. Lastly, Elizabeth and Darcy break down huge social barriers in their marriage. This is seen in no greater of a way than in the confrontation between Elizabeth and Lady Catherine de Bourgh. The old lady cannot stand the fact that her well-groomed nephew wants to marry a poor pauper girl. She warns Elizabeth that if she were to marry Darcy that he would soon become the “contempt of the world” (Austen 1108).

And not only does Mr. Darcy’s class object to the pairing, but Elizabeth’s own mother and father do not think it is possible that their daughter to marry that high into the social order (Austen 1173). The only reason this couple would have gotten together is love, and Austen is showing that love can overcome societal barriers. In conclusion, Jane Austen used the characters of Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth Bennet, to show that true love outshines social acceptability, and overcomes pride and prejudice.

What true love is

If we base our idea of what true love is on fairy tales, we might think that finding prince charming or an enchanting princess and living happily ever after is the ultimate goal. But for most mortals, striving for such ideals is unrealistic, and may even leave us feeling unfulfilled or let down. The reality is that being and staying in love takes continual work and patience, even though this might not seem utterly romantic, in that storybook sense. Couples who have healthy relationships find ways of working together, and this in and of itself could be considered a sign of true love.

It’s true that in many cultures, people who are “in love” create long-term partnerships and/or get married. We may hear of the high divorce rates, but lots of these couples do actually stay together. Yes, there are couples that have been married for 60 years and still feel passionately in love, and there are others who care deeply for one another even though the lust is gone (or maybe never existed!). Of course, sometimes we may not even want to hear about the happy, lovey-dovey couples because we’re feeling romantically unlucky or lovelorn ourselves.

Keep in mind that the reasons why some relationships don’t last are as varied as the different kinds of people we are; in many cases, the partners simply grow apart because they have grown and changed as individuals, and seek different, more fulfilling opportunities for love. If a particular couple “falls out of love,” yet each partner goes on to seek a more satisfying love with another person, could this be an example of “true love” in action?

Love can also vary by degrees: some couples feel deeply intense and passionate, while others appreciate one another for intellectual reasons or admire one another’s ambition, dedication, or creativity. When is the last time you read a fairy tale where the main characters appreciated each other’s brilliant musicianship, eloquent writing, or compassion for humanity? (Well, maybe in Shakespeare’s writings….)

Love is not an easily definable concept but it may be helpful to try to spell it out. A psychologist, Richard Sternberg proposed that love is the result of three components — intimacy, passion and commitment. The love is strongest when all three of these components are strong. John Lee proposed an alternate theory by identifying six styles (or colors) of love. How do you define love?

Perhaps, just for fun though, it might help to look at this elusive “true love” in another light. Look around you and see all of the expressions of love in our world: people devoting huge chunks of their lives for the human rights of others, people setting aside time to volunteer in their community, parents and caregivers protecting and nurturing their children and families, young people learning from and sharing things with their grandparents. Or, how about giving and receiving unconditional love to and from the animals in our lives?

So, are humans capable of staying in love? Sure they are, as there are lots of models around us of people who love and care deeply about one another. Some people follow the philosophy of “better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.” Instead of looking at all the heartaches around us, why not look to all of the examples of the different types of love in the world? Perhaps if we think of love as a broadly defined term, it’s possible to see “true love” all around us.

Love of country?

Frederick Douglass’s speech “If I Had A Country, I Should Be A Patriot” delivers a blasting reproach on the discrimination of the African American and why he feels indignant about his country and being unwilling to call himself a patriot. Similar to Langston Hughes’s “I, Too, Sing America” , both employ a chord informative structure and a canting tone simple enough for the audience to incite a reaction from the audience to plead for freedom in America. Both authors though in different times face the challenges of racism and being an African American in the “Republic” of America.

Douglass explains that even under natural rights there is no spot sacred in America that can secure his right of liberty. He orates “This is your land of the free”, your “home of the brave” to symbolize the ambivalence and optimism for freedom being an African American in America at that juncture and that America must be envisioned as the sentimental identity of the African American slave. “I never knew what freedom was till I got beyond the limits of the American eagle”.

Douglass tries to explain that the idea of being a patriot in America differs from the reality currently going on in his time persuading his listeners to acknowledge the humanity in dehumanizing the institution of slavery. In Langston Hughes’s poem his first stanza details how he is treated unequally. “I am the darker brother; they send me to eat in the kitchen, when company comes but I laugh and eat well and grow strong.” He demonstrates that the nation he considers himself to belong under the constitution does not treat him as a superior but an inferior. The sentiment of this quote internally depicts that he feels equal to the other race.

Unlike Douglass who is encouraging the people to realize their rights, Hughes is waiting for the opportune moment to rebel. The last four lines of Hughes’s poem “Besides, They’ll see how beautiful I am and be ashamed – I, too, am America” corresponds with Douglass’s insight of hope and using inequality to unmask inequality in America and orating that his race integral to the very existence of America. Hughes orates that he will endure the racial despair with hopefulness in the American promise of justice for all. Douglass and Hughes are judging that there’s no greater danger to the advancement of the African American than the country and its spirit of alienation. This will always steer up to a revolution in a country.

America should be a land true to natural love of liberty and its moral humanity and guide its united people to a moral progress. They found a reason to love and identify with this country despite injustices their people had suffered continued to suffer in their days as they waited for the alternate solution.

God Is love

Love is the air. We breathe this air and so it is in us to love. Just like the involuntary need to breath in oxygen and breath out carbon dioxide we need to love and be loved. It is near impossible to ignore that the presence or absence of love in someone’s life as it plays a magnificent role in all things regarding that person. God has created us diligently and therefore he has by default bestowed upon us his greatness – his loving nature. We are born with the ability to receive love, reciprocate it and the true deep desire to do both. God made us to love and I mean two things when I say that.

Firstly, we were made to comprehend the love God has for us. He wants us to feel the love he feels towards each and every one of us which explains our senses. We can see the darkness, hear the depression, feel the disconnect, smell the rotting and taste the bitterness of a love deprived place. God made us to love us and so it only makes sense we try to serve our purpose. We are not here on earth to serve him as he does not require anything to continue to be himself. The beautiful construction of humans the way our minds work with our hearts allows us to receive love and understand it. For example; your mom wakes up early every morning to give you a kiss before you go to school and you take that kiss as her love. In the same way, everything you have been blessed with you can see and understand that it is God’s love. When we understand that we are truly loved, reciprocating becomes easy.

Secondly, it is in our nature to reciprocate love. A simple example of how I believe reciprocation is nature; someone helps us with your homework we will most likely help them with theirs if they ask. Couples consist of two people the love each other, meaning reciprocation is happening and that is the case for almost all couples. Now in regards to the Almighty, he made us to bless us, to love us. We often assume that we were created to serve, love, and worship him.

These are good and holy actions, but they are just the responses to God’s initiating act of love. He does not need anything we have to offer. A lot of us do feel this strong desire to love God back. It is evident in a lot of the things we do; religion class, going to church, being grateful, understanding the emphasis put on helping others and abiding by his rules even though we may not understand the reasons behind each. When we are aware someone loves us we cannot help but feel the need to love them back.

Finally, beyond the fact that love is such a natural thing and the fact that it is something we do without much thought it is something we personally desire to do. The importance of love in life is beyond the logic of give and take. I can say everyone I have come across is on the pursuit of happiness; everyone desires to feel good regardless. Something we know, even if it is knowledge buried deep inside, is that love is blissful. We meet that bliss in our mothers’ arms, in our fathers’ words and in our lovers touch. The feeling of loneliness bugs each and every one of us at some point and we realize it is not a way we enjoy feeling.

Loneliness sometimes does not leave us alone even while we are with others, however love is something that keeps us company even when we are alone. A lot of us have this void within we spend our lives trying to fill. Quite like the Prince who ran around with Cinderella’s glass slipper searching for the one who fits it perfect. Love fills our voids perfectly. We can take love, we can give it back and the essence of life is the craving to do so. God is everywhere, God is love and so love is the air. If you can breathe you can love and if you need to breathe you need to love.

Teenage Love

Purpose of the problem:

People fall in love at many stages. However, there is one certain stage in our life when we think that everyone seems to want love. This is the stage of what we called the Teenage love. Nowadays, most of the teenagers spend their time searching for their Mr. or Mrs. Right, or if not the perfect partner. Teenagers are not yet matured enough to handle the whole things that the real relationship requires. Also, teenage love distracts teenagers fulfilling their responsibilities in school. Lastly, love can be mistaken as a physical attraction by teenagers leads them to more serious problems.

Teenagers are the most confused group of people when they fall in love. They caught childhood and adulthood. I agree that love requires a lot of understandings, patient, and trust. It needs a lot of give and take. These are some things that teenagers are not prepared for. This immaturity can cause teenagers thinks that they are in love when in fact they are just infatuated. For me, I don’t think that teenagers will able to handle all the pressures and responsibilities because they are they are only trapped to the sweet things and fantasies of love.

They barely consider the most significant factors to keep their relationship strong. When problems arise, it becomes hard for them to fix the relationship. Pride and selfishness usually dominates the situation. And when they decide to end the relationship, it becomes more difficult especially for girls to cope with the moving-on process. Because of many problems, the other roles of the teenagers also affected.

Between pressures of relationship of teenagers to the opposite sex and responsibilities in school, teens find difficulty in balancing the two. More often the not, teenagers spend more time exchanging text messages and hanging out with their boyfriends and girlfriends. They neglect school priorities and projects. As a result their focus much centered to their relationship with their opposite sex and keeps off from more important things. Relationship becomes more prioritized than school. Teenagers should always consider that education must always come first.

Teenage love brings several conflicts to teens. Teenagers should not follow the dictates of their hearts fall for this kind of love. Teenagers who scarcely know real love can lead them to more serious problems. Because of immaturity, they find difficulties in dealing with problems that inevitably come to their relationships. Being unable to manage their roles, teenage love becomes a distraction to fulfil their duties at school that leads them to poor school performance. Lastly, the curiosity of teens with this teenage love leads them to explore and experience sex which leads teenage girls to early pregnancy.

I think teenagers should always remember that true love waits and their involvement to such young love may make them feel regret for the rest of their lives since I believe that they do not know fully the whole thing about it.

I Love School

Sixteen years after a sixteen-year-old wrote this book, Francis Ford Coppola turned this novel into a movie. The book is a coming-of-age novel, but the movie focuses on the characters’ loss of innocence. The movie follows the story line very closely. The reader is only told that this story takes place in the southwest, but the movie places it in Tulsa, Oklahoma, in the year 1966. It also changes the conflict from the East Side versus the West side to the northside versus the southside. This minor directional change was probably made due to the relative time proximity to the musical West Side Story, which won the best picture Academy Award in l961. However, as with all movies, character insight that is critical to understanding the story is lost when the format goes from the written word to the screen. Ponyboy is telling us the story, the same as in the book, but the 91-minute film only glosses over many character relationships.

With the exception of Ponyboy, the viewer misses out on knowing most of the novel’s characters. Darry and Soda are relatively minor characters in the movie, and the viewer is given little insight into their lives. The same is true for the rest of the gang, even Dally. Dally’s death loses much of its impact because viewers aren’t able to get to know him. Only the reader is aware of the fact that Dally’s gun is unloaded, and the symbolic death of Dally in the spotlight is gone.

Johnny’s character is also weaker in the movie than the book. Viewers don’t see the growth in his character, because they don’t know Johnny. Johnny’s appreciation for life at the end of his own is barely noted, but it has great impact on Pony in the novel.

The whole point of the telling of Ponyboy’s story is to give meaning to Johnny’s death. Johnny had wanted Ponyboy to tell Dally certain truths, and given that Dally is dead, Pony writes this story down for all of the Dallys in the world: “Someone should tell their side of the story, and maybe people would understand then and wouldn’t be so quick to judge a boy by the amount of hair oil he wore.” The movie and book do begin and end with the same lines, the difference being, only readers understand the meaning behind them.

Love and Sacrifice

Sacrifice is one of the purest and most selfless ways to love someone. There is no better way to show one’s loyalty or love for another than through sacrifice. The Kite Runner clearly demonstrates the sacrifices individuals made to make the ones they love happy.

In Khaled Hosseini’s novel The Kite Runner, a little boy named Hassan demonstrates love and sacrifice the most. Hassan admires Amir an immense amount and his loyalty towards Amir is always present in everything he does. He constantly sacrifices things for Amir and does whatever he can to make Amir happy and Amir’s father Baba, very proud of Amir. Hassan makes sure Amir is always pleased and does anything and everything Amir tells him to do. Hassan has an unconditional love and loyalty towards Amir that he does not falter no matter how badly Amir treats him. Hassan is absolutely selfless; to a point where he sacrifices himself for the one thing he knows Amir has craved his whole life, his father’s admiration. When Hassan goes running for the blue kite, Amir asks him to come back with it and Hassan replies “ For you a thousand times over!” (pg.71). Hassan has two choices; to give the blue kite, which will consequently betray his best friend Amir, or to be punished by Assef and his friends and keep the kite. His devoted love to Amir results in a horrible sacrifice. Hassan gets raped and does not even think twice about giving up the blue kite, the key to Baba’s heart. He stays loyal to Amir even though he pays a hard price.

Hassan has always taken the blame for things Amir does or farthings Amir makes Hassan do. Hassan being the selfless person he is never speaks up for himself knowing that will only get his dear friend Amir in trouble. Hassan’s final sacrifice for Amir is deliberately planned by Amir himself. Amir cannot withstand the pain and guilt of knowing that he does nothing to help Hassan from getting raped; he is selfish and a coward. He is reminded of this every time he looks at Hassan. He thinks if he can find a way to make Hassan and his father the servants of their house, Ali will then leave and rid him of his guilt and suffering. So he plants his new watch under Hassan’s bed and then accuses Hassan of stealing it. Knowing that Hassan will never disappoint him. He waits for Hassan to respond when Baba asks him if this is true. “Did you steal that money? Did you steal Amir’s watch, Hassan?” Hassan lies … “yes” (pg.111) this is another significant event where Hassan put Amir before himself selflessly.

Baba Is always perceived as a wise man with strong morals and opinions in “The Kite Runner”. He is not a coward nor selfish, he stands up for what he believes is right and Baba is a very brave man. This is displayed when he sacrifices his life for a woman he does not know. He stands up and says, “Tell him I’ll take a thousand of his bullets before I let this indecency take place”. (Pg. 122) This act stops a Russian soldier from raping a woman that is carrying a baby on their way to America. This shows the love Baba has in his heart to help this woman from a terrible event that would have taken place if he had not stopped it. He has shown love and sacrifice for women he does not know and that shows his good character and bravery.

Although Amir had feels his father never appreciated him enough his father makes a big sacrifice for Amir. With the war-taking place in Afghanistan, Baba knows it will not be a safe place for Amir to grow up and knows he has to do something about it. He leaves everything he has behind. He sacrifices everything he has for Amir, all his belongings, and his house, and where he grew up. He leaves his life behind so Amir can have a happy and safe life in America. He does not like America but he knows it is best for Amir. He puts Amir before himself, demonstrating another one of Baba’s selfless acts.

Throughout the novel, Amir has some very negative personality traits. He is selfish, demanding, cowardly, disrespectful and jealous. He does not seem like the type of person that will do something for another out of the kindness of their heart. He always thinks about himself and what he wants. He has never sacrificed anything for the people he loves. Growing up with the memory of Hassan’s rape still fresh in his mind like a situation that has just unfolded has finally opened his eyes and makes him realize he needs to be brave for once in his life. So Amir acts. He goes back to Afghanistan to find Hassan’s son, Sohrab. Rahim Khan’s advice, “There is a way to be good again” (pg.2) helps Amir to put his feelings into action. Assef, now a Taliban officer, beats Amir up badly, but this, heals Amir of his wrong doings from the past and he takes Sohrab back to America with him to live a good life. Amir finally puts someone before himself after all the sacrifices Hassan has made for him in the past. This shows the love and sacrifice he makes for Hassan’s child knowing it is the only way he can ever repay Hassan for the years of mistreatment in their childhood.

The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini demonstrates a very good lesson on sacrifice and love. The novel is a perfect example of the ways Jesus shows us how to live our lives. “There is no greater love than to lay ones life down for a friend”.

About Love

Overpopulation[edit source | editbeta]
Further information: Family planning in India and Demographics of India India suffers from the problem of overpopulation. The population of India is very high at an estimated 1.27 billion.[1][2][3] Though India ranks second in population, it ranks 33 in population density. Indira Gandhi, Prime Minister of India, had implemented a forced sterilization programme in the early 1970s but the programme failed. Officially, men with two children or more were required to be sterilised, but many unmarried young men, political opponents and ignorant, poor men were also believed to have been affected by this pogramme. This program is still remembered and regretted in India, and is blamed for creating a public aversion to family planning, which hampered Government programmes for decades.[4]

Definition of ‘Social Economics’ Problems
Socio Economics Problems focuses on the relationship between social behavior and economics. Social economics examines how social norms, ethics and other social philosophies that influence consumer behavior shape an economy, and uses history, politics and other social sciences to examine potential results from changes to society or the economy. 1. Overpopulation : India suffers from the problem of overpopulation. Though India ranks second in population, it ranks 33 in terms of population density below countries such as The Netherlands, South Korea and Japan. To cure this problem, Indira Gandhi, Prime Minister of India, had implemented a forced sterilization programme in the early 1970s but failed. Officially, men with two children or more had to submit to sterilization, but many unmarried young men, political opponents and ignorant, poor men were also believed to have been sterilized. This program is still remembered and criticized in India, and is blamed for creating a wrong public aversion to family planning, which hampered Government programmes for decades.

Overpopulation

Overpopulation is becoming one of the most preeminent problems facing human civilization. This complicated, pervasive issue will come to be a problem of
the utmost importance for people of all races, religions, and nationalities. Our planet now provides for approximately 5.8 billion people, with projections of around 10 billion by the year 2050. Two billion of these are extremely poor, the poorest of which live in absolute poverty and misery. One very serious effect of the population explosion is its detrimental effects on the global environment. Increasing amounts of food, energy, water, and shelter are required to fulfill the needs of human society. Much of our energy is derived from the burning of fossil fuels-releasing millions of metric tons of toxins into the atmosphere annually. The amount of land required for food production will grow increasingly larger, while the amount of available land will grow increasingly smaller.

The affects of overpopulation on human society are many. Suffering from a lack of resources, people are often driven to war when they become too numerous for their available resources. Ethnic and racial differences will grow increasingly frequent and unresolvable. Increasing numbers in urban areas will lower quality of life in cities around the world.

The precipitators of this complex issue are unlimited. Factors such as poverty, food distribution, and government corruption are all important aspects. No one will be unaffected by the repercussions of an overpopulated world. This highly sensitive and complex issue demands the attention of all who reside upon this planet, particularly those who have the ability to work for change.

Romeo and Juliet Essay Love vs Violence

In Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, violence, prejudice and hatred interfere with love and happiness. This is brought about through as love as a cause of violence, the conflict between this individual and society and the idea of fate this shown in the ballroom scene and the fight scene.

A scene that explores the idea of how violence, prejudice and hatred interfere with the ability for the main characters of Romeo and Juliet is Act 1, Scene 5, The Ballroom Scene. Violence, prejudice and hatred is shown mostly in this scene by Tybalt anger for the Montague’s. Just as Romeo saw Juliet and he was amazed by her beauty, Tybalt saw Romeo in anger an, prejudice was introduced by the words of “Come hither, covered with an antic face, to fleer and scorn at our solemnity?” This quote made me feel that Tybalt dislikes Romeo and Tybalt believes Romeo is there to ruin the Capulet celebration, also Tybalt is trying to show family honour. This uses the Shakespearian language technique of oxymoron’s with fleer and scorn.

Also in Act 1, Scene 5 prejudice is also explored through the dialogue between Lord Capulet and Tybalt. Furthermore it’s explained the prejudice that Tybalt has to the Montague. “Uncle, this is a Montague, our foe, a villain that is hither come in spite to scorn at our solemnity.” Consequently, Tybalt’s prejudice systematically puts a obstacle in the way of Romeo’s natural love for Juliet. This is linked to the theme of the Individual vs Society. Romeo’s natural instincts are to follow his natural feelings but his societal ideals are that he must hate Juliet as she is a Capulet an vice versa for Tybalt. His natural instincts are to strike at Romeo but this would be poor in front of the crowd at the party.

The other act that explores

A scene that highlights the idea inevitability of fate is the fight scene illustrating that the natural tendencies of violence overcome Romeo’s love and happiness. In Act 3, Scene 1 the fight amongst Mercutio, Tybalt and Romeo, Benvolio and Mercutio are met by the Capulet and ask for Romeo who is not there at the time. When Romeo arrives insults are thrown to Romeo with hatred and prejudice “Romeo, the love I bear thee can afford no better term than this: thou art a villain” and then all Romeo basically says back is that I can love you and I excuse your insult because we are family now.” Right now Tybalt cant believe what he is saying and is challenging him to a fight through Tybalts’ words of violence “Boy, this shall not excuse the injuries that thou hast done me.

Therefore turn and draw” this quote makes the reader sense that Tybalt is very angry with Romeos’ words. Violence is also explored also later in the play with a dramatic ending to Mercutio’s life. When Romeo backs down Tybalt’s fight, Mercutio was angry with Romeo so he took the fight with Tybalt. When Romeo tries to break up the fight Tybalt reaches under Romeos’ arm and stabs Mercutio, with his dyeing words, Mercutio morns “A plague o’ both your houses!” right now is extremely angry with both of their families because he has died for the problems and is cursing both Montague’s and Capulet’s by trying to say a death on your families. This is using the Shakespearian technique of ‘foreshadowing’. At this stage this act has truly shown the idea of inevitability of fate.

Again scene that explores the idea of how violence, prejudice and hatred interfere with the ability for the main characters of Romeo and Juliet is Act 1, Scene 5 further in, The Ballroom Scene. Tybalt shows hatred for his anger of the Montague’s. As Tybalt and his uncle Capulet are still disagreeing about Romeo existence at the ballroom, Tybalt uses harsh hatred in his argument “it fits when such a villain is guest I’ll not endure him” this quote is describing Romeo as a villain and Tybalt will not tolerate him. This is associated to the theme of the Individual vs Society.

Another act that explores the idea of hatred is also again Act 3, Scene 1 The fight amongst Mercutio, Tybalt and Romeo. This quote takes place in the insults before Tybalt ask Romeo to fight. The quote is a combination of hatred and prejudice that Tybalt has. “Romeo, the love I bear thee can afford no better term than this: thou art a villain,” this show all hatred for Romeo cause. Tybalt explains that the only thing he could call him is a villain. This is linked to the theme of the Love as a Cause of violence. Tybalt’s natural instincts are to follow his hatred thoughts about what Romeo is doing to him.

In conclusion Shakespeare has majestically written about a tragic love story of sworn for bidden love between Romeo and Juliet. This is a story that shows the continuous obstacles of violence, prejudice and hatred that stopped these star cross lovers from each other.

One of the Main Messages in “a Christmas Carol” Is That Love Elevates and Money Corrupts. Discuss.

ONE OF THE MAIN MESSAGES IN “A CHRISTMAS CAROL” IS THAT LOVE ELEVATES AND MONEY CORRUPTS. DISCUSS. The allegory of Charles Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol” can be shaped by a variety of different outlooks. Dickens incites the reader by including a riddle of messages, some messages may be more imperative than others. One of the most outstanding messages within the novella is centred on money and love. The crux of Scrooge’s life is based on money, greed and gain twisted his ideals so to make him a wicked and corrupt man. Alternatively, love was also heavily included within the novella. Dickens illustrated how the love of a family and one another elevated all, and ultimately elevated Scrooge. Scrooge was a depraved man “squeezing, wrenching, grasping, scraping, clutching, covetous old sinner!” majority of the townsfolk would cower at this presence.

He based his morality and life purely on money; greed and gain were his most prominent qualities. Love was a mere inkling of what was in Scrooge. His nephew Fred can be described as an outstanding foil to Scrooge, Fred was poor but lived a comfortable life; whereas Scrooge was rich and corrupt. “Though it has never put a scrap of gold or silver in my pocket, I believe it has done me good”, Fred commended Christmas even if there was no profit in it, whilst Scrooge condemned its every quality “bah humbug”, alongside the fact that it made people happy.

In Stave 1 when Scrooge is approached by Marley’s ghost he was exposed to his former business partner’s consequence. His spirit wore the “chain (he) forged in life”, a chain linked by the “dealings of (his) trade… a drop of water in the comprehensive ocean of (his) business”. Marley and Scrooge’s ideals were parallel; they were hand in hand business partners.

Power of Love

We all need love to be able to be connected to others. The more connected you are to a person the more that you are healthier and love is very essential for life, mind, heart, and it is oxygen to the brain. It is important to have love in life. We grow to love others because if comes from within and from our hearts. We need to love to survive to feel the need to belong to someone. Frequently people grow accustomed to each other when they have love in their lives. Frequently, people encounter situations in their environment in which it is impossible to not be with another person when they are in love and feel a bond between each other. It is therefore of great importance for one’s attention and process to be connected to each other through love. I believe love is something that sweeps us off our feet that takes our breath away with that someone special and that special feeling that is shared between two people. It is something that we all need. Love to me is a flower, a word, a song a note something special between two people emotionally. Love is like the best medicine for anything. but many of our ideas about it are wrong. The less love you have, the more depressed you are likely to feel. (By Ellen McGrath, published on December 01, 2002 – last reviewed on March 30, 2009) I have learned that when people are depressed it is because they don’t love themselves and therefore they can’t love anyone else. It is sad to think that so many of us in today’s society are really very sadly depressed and that we feel we have to have someone in our life and that we miss interpret lonely it to love.

I have done this before where I have been depressed and have had someone in my life and thought it was love and it was not. I guess when I didn’t love myself, I was not sure how to signal out the two or how to differentiate. Being depressed can attract you to someone, and it totally can be the wrong person for us. What attracts us to another person is there character, personality, Their smile their vulnerability and how they treat us and draw us close to them. We are less likely to befriend someone from another culture because it is more interesting due to other cultures backgrounds, accents. We choose others from other cultures than our own culture because it isn’t new anymore and it is of the same likes as our own. The attribution of attraction is they include. In our textbooks we read about Proximity and that is how our friends lived close to us as we grew up and how the friendships developed over the length of time. Friendship developed (Nahemow & Lawton, 1975). We all know that friendships grow after getting to know someone, and this closeness becomes very easy to win over and turn into a relationship. Just like when we go to school we have classes together and we sit among each other and of course that will develop into making more friends if not relationships and then start making closer bonds with friends. Then there is association where we tend to express our opinions about other people and share our insights with others. We also share similarities and we sometimes associate that with attractiveness and likeness which is something two people share that can result in bonding between two people that share the same qualities. (Neimeyer & Mitchell, 1988)

Then we simply tend to like those who like us back or are similar to what we are like. It is a great sense of feeling when you know that you are interacting with someone that is a lot like yourself and that that person likes you back and that you both get a long that you don’t have to pretend to be someone else and that you both get along exceptionally well. We feel good when we are around somebody. We tend to report a higher level of attraction toward that person (Forgas, 1992; Zajonc & McIntosh, 1992) Physical attraction plays a role in who we care to be friends with. Even though that sometimes doesn’t mean that we may be attracted to that person or that we choose that person to be with it is just an attraction that happens between two people who have very similar likes. We can’t help who we are attracted to and who we end up with. It isn’t something we plan it is something that just happens. Opposites attract and that sometimes can bring two people physically closer in a relationship than a friendship. Sometimes attractive people attract other attractive people and sometimes attraction has nothing to do with looks what so ever. It is just a mutual or physical bonding that brings two people together. Sometimes a tall person may be attracted to a person who is a short person. A skinny person can be with a
heavy person. Attraction isn’t about money, wealth, fame, or young, old or anything like that. It is a feeling that two people share no matter the circumstances and it is the way things are.

The human need to build bonds in a relationship is because as human nature we just want to belong to someone. We have basic needs just as an infant needs their mother to carry them, hold them and nurture them so do we. As we get older we need someone to hold us and care for us and tell us that things are going to be okay. It provides stability, security, It totally assist in growth between two people. Just like anything in life we need the use of water, shelter and warmth and we need to be able to have some form of survival in our lives. We need that comfort and that love and that closeness that we feel only one person can give to us. That is what we need to be able to have that human bond in life. Yes we do have an innate to belong of course most definitely because we all want love and we all want to be loved and we all want to love back. We all fear being alone as we grow older and we all fear that everyone will leave us one day and it is a very scary feeling. Many people tend to have panic attacks just knowing that they will be alone and that is very depressing. From the very beginning of life In my opinion and in my own life ,I would have to say that loneliness is a very sad feeling and it is a feeling of emotion of being disconnected from society from family, from life in general. It is like when you feel the loss of a loved one that has been in your life for many years and they are no longer around you sense loneliness all around you feel like you have lost your best friend and you feel so isolated and you can be around friends and family all day long and you can feel good on the outside and yet still be dying on the inside with anxiety and panic worrying that you are alone that nobody cares. It is obvious that humans have an innate need to feel connected. We are social beings with many needs and a want and need to belong. Robert Sternberg’s theory he explained the differences of love and that they consisted of three different kind of loves: he described intimacy as a need for emotional connection which is shared between two people who have desire for each other and share intimate feelings. Then he shared passion as he explained passion, he expressed it as a sexual attraction that was a motivational drive that was shared between two people
who had such a desire for one another and passion he described as two people who had very deep attractiveness for each other. To me consummated love is between a husband and a wife in a committed union. and that is as Robert Sternberg said it is a thoughtful part of love; it involves first deciding one is “in love,” which, over time, develops into a lasting commitment to a relationship or person. (Nevid & Rathus, 2005)

Romantic love to me is a love that is where you hold hands and you get butterflies. Where intimacy is involved even it is it is not a committed relationship but it is shared between to physically drawn individuals. Romantic lovers look at each other through “rose colored glasses” not seeing each other’s flaws.

(Nevid & Rathus, 2005) Empty love to me is a love where two people are married and yet aren’t in love with one another anymore but they stay together because of security and emotional ties and years have been invested. They stay together for fear of being alone and they deal with each other because it’s out of respect. (Nevid & Rathus, 2005) in today’s society so many people can relate to this sort of love because so many people remain together for their children not realizing that staying together is making the children miserable and that eventually they will grow up and leave the nest making their own lives elsewhere. I think this is such a sad love. Infatuation is a relationship based on passion, with no intimacy or commitment. Infatuation is characterized by passionate attraction on sight, and an example of such would be a one night stand. (Nevid & Rathus, 2005) Why do so many people want to stay together and ruin their lives in an empty love relationship? They don’t realize that by being honest with themselves they could start a new with someone else and be totally happy. Today so many men have affairs in an empty love relationship even if they are secure, have fear and stay together because of finances and obligations. Why can’t we all just be happy and be with the one person that makes us the happiest. I know this feeling all too well and I chose to walk away from an empty love. Free to be happy, Free to independent, free to be free and not with someone out of obligation. It is sad to be with someone who you don’t desire or love anymore. It is not right to make someone stay with you just because you have been together for so long. I longed to be desired and loved and wanted and needed with someone who truly loved me and was willing to make a commitment and give themselves to me entirely. I chose to be with someone who I am in love with and who has my heart. Not someone I feel an obligation or duty to at all. That is like saying, If I wanted a maid, I would have married a maid.“ But I married a partner, A best friend, my soul mate my companion and my everything. That to me is a genuine love and so many people don’t know what they are looking for in life and it’s the saddest thing if you ask me.

References:
Referred By Ellen McGrath, published on December 01, 2002 – last reviewed on March 30, 2009 http://beta.in-mind.org
http://panicdisorder.about
http://voices.yahoo.com/sternbergs-theory-love

Ill-Fated Love at Centrex Electronics

Case Study Review: Ill-Fated Love at Centrex Electronics

1.In the case it is stated the policy of CEC is “Employees performing jobs where they have access to sensitive or confidential information which could benefit competitors are prohibited from being married to or from having a romantic relationship with individuals employed by competing organizations” while the CEO stated “CEC employees are responsible for their own off-the-job behavior. We are concerned with an employee’s off-the-job conduct only when it reduces the employee’s ability to perform normal job assignments.”

These two statements contradict each other with the CEO’s acting as an implied policy. The attorney could have used the implied contract exception to the employment-at-will policy.

2.The policy CEC had in place is understandable in highly competitive industries, but in this case the execution of the policy was not handled correct which lead to the wrongful termination suite. It seems that if CEC had given Miller-Canton a time table to make her decision or be terminated it would have given enough conversion regardless of the results for a correct decision to me made. If Miller-Canton had decided to end the relationship with Mike she would have continued working, if she decided on the relationship she could have resigned, and if she couldn’t make a decision it would have been clear why she was terminated.

3.There is no single definition to “romantic relationship” and depending on one experiences it could equate to dating. Likewise, there is no definitive definition of dating that would be equally be shared by everyone.

Romeo and Juliet: Are they in love?

Four centuries have passed since William Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet was first performed; yet it is still a controversial question to ask: are Romeo and Juliet truly in love? True love is when you would risk anything just to be with that one special person; it’s when you see them in their ugliest moments and still want to love and please him or her no matter what. Based on Aristotle’s three levels of friendship, Romeo and Juliet’s relationship certainly does not start at complete love; instead, it gradually develops into it over the course of the play. Along with their changing relationship, Romeo and Juliet are also beginning to grow up. And by the time of their deaths, they’re willing to give up anything and everything to be with each other. While Romeo and Juliet’s relationship is extremely hasty, they are absolutely in love according to Aristotle’s three levels of friendship, Romeo and Juliet’s maturation throughout the play and both characters’ willingness to sacrifice anything to be with each other. As believed by Aristotle, there are three different levels of friendship.

The lowest form is utility friendship, a relationship based solely on reason while disregarding emotion and whether or not the two parties enjoy each other’s company. The next level is pleasure friendship, the exact opposite of utility friendship. It’s a relationship based only on mutual enjoyment and emotion, specifically passion, while ignoring whether or not either party will gain something beneficial from the other. Finally, there’s complete friendship, the highest level achievable. It combines both utility and pleasure but instead of existing for each other’s sake, each party cares about the other for their own sake. William of Ockham also adds a third element to Aristotle’s complete friendship, will. He explains “that will ‘commands the inferior powers, including reason… [and] moderates one’s passions.’ Since the will has power over both reason and passion, it need not value things for the sake of utility or pleasure. The will is free to value things for their own sakes” (Milavec and Kaye 180).

With the addition of this third component, true love comes to be about reason, passion and the will to love someone just because. The beginning of Romeo and Juliet’s relationship is mainly based off of reason. Before the Capulet party, Juliet admits to her mother and nurse that she has given little thought about marriage. The upcoming party will be Juliet’s first and on her mother’s request, she is to decide if she likes Paris, a young count seeking for her hand in marriage. With the previous discussion fresh in her mind, Juliet spots Romeo. Upon seeing him, she’s instantly attracted to him and moments later decides that Romeo “is the god of my idolatry” (II.ii.115). Romeo is evidently beneficial to Juliet because he’ll provide a new husband that she’s actually attracted to. As for Romeo, he had just gotten rejected by a girl, Rosaline, and decided that because she wouldn’t have sex with him, she didn’t love him. At the sight of another prettier girl, Juliet, he completely forgets how depressed he was about Rosaline’s rejection and becomes enamored with Juliet. He’s basically on the rebound and decides that Juliet is much better in terms of beauty, “For I ne’er saw true beauty till this night” (I.v.54).

Juliet is useful to Romeo as he gets over his “love”, which is most likely infatuation, for Rosaline. As Romeo and Juliet’s connection grows; their relationship changes from utility into pleasure, introducing passion. In the beginning of the play, Romeo believes that while he loves Rosaline, she doesn’t love him. The rationale behind that was because Rosaline wouldn’t sleep with him, when in reality, she had sworn to be sexually abstinent. But on the other hand, Juliet is willing to have sex with Romeo, as long as their married, “If that thy bent of love be honorable, / Thy purpose marriage, send me word tomorrow (II.ii.144-145). At the time, Romeo and Juliet are not thinking with reason, but with their emotions instead, distinctly showing a pleasure friendship. By the time both Romeo and Juliet commit suicide, the star-crossed lovers are definitely in love. As mentioned before, to be in love you must have reason, passion and also will, the force that makes you do something without reason or passion. After Romeo is banished from Verona, he soon falsely learns that Juliet is dead from Balthazar.

Forgetting about his banishment and his punishment if he were caught back in Verona, he buys a vial of poison and heads to the Capulet monument. Without thinking with reason or passion, he sees Juliet lying on a tomb, supposedly dead, and drinks the poison. Once Juliet wakes up, she quickly notices Romeo’s dead body and stabs herself with a dagger, refusing the thought of living without him. Both characters act solely on will, overlooking any reason or passion. At the start of the play, Romeo comes off as extremely shallow, only worrying about looks while Juliet is exceptionally young and naïve.

Rosaline’s purpose in the entire play is to show how much Romeo changes. Romeo’s constant talk of Rosaline in the beginning of the play is mostly him wanting to be in love than him actually loving her. But when Romeo and Juliet meet, Romeo casts away his superficial thoughts of love and learns what love truly means, caring for someone for their own sake. He goes so far as to risk his life by going back to Verona just to see her. Juliet, once a naïve child knowing little about love, also grows up quickly. She does everything in her power to remain true to her husband, even overlooking the fact that he kills her cousin, Tybalt: But wherefore, villain, didst thou kill my cousin?

That villain cousin would have killed my husband.
Back, foolish tears, back to your native spring.
Your tributary drops belong to woe,
Which you, mistaking, offer up to joy.
My husband lives, that Tybalt would have slain,
And Tybalt’s dead, that would have slain my husband.
All this is comfort (III.ii.100-107)

Another change in Juliet is her beginning to disobey her parents. In the beginning, Juliet does everything her parents ask for. But because she loves Romeo, Juliet is prepared to deny and change her identity just to be with him. Throughout the entire play, Romeo and Juliet are both willing to give up anything and everything to be with one another. All they want to do is be with each other and to please the other, even to the point of death. Juliet openly tells Romeo in the balcony scene how much she loves his company and even before they were married, Romeo says:

But come what sorrow can,

It cannot countervail the exchange of joy
That one short minute gives me in her sight.
Do thou but close our hands with holy words,
Then love-devouring death do what he dare;
It is enough I may but call her mine” (II.vi.3-5).

Romeo apparently doesn’t care if they’re dead or not, as long as they’re together. Juliet also explains her happiness of her love for him saying “My bounty is as boundless as the sea, / My love as deep; the more I give to thee, / The more I have” (II.ii.134-136). It is quite clear that neither Romeo nor Juliet think that they can live without one another.

While love seems to be a good thing, it’s often painful, causing many problems. For Romeo and Juliet, their love for each other was their ultimate demise. Living without the other was so unbearable that they both had to commit suicide. Based on Aristotle’s three levels of friendship, Romeo and Juliet’s relationship starts out as utility and grows into pleasure and finally into complete love. During Romeo and Juliet, both main characters mature rapidly over a small span of time, merely five days. And while it’s hard to believe that two young lovers could fall in love so quickly, Romeo and Juliet were definitely in love. It took both of their deaths to finally mend the Montague and Capulet feud because in the end, love conquers all.

Analysis of “Why I Love My Strict Chineses Mom”

The correct way of raising a child?

Sophia Chua-Rubenfeld’s essay “Why I love my strict Chinese mom” is a response to the all the negative feedback her mother had gotten for her essay “Why Chinese Mothers are Superior”. The intention of this essay is to persuade and inform the reader of why Amy Chua raised her daughter Sophia the correct way. Chua-Rubenfeld’s first argument is that the critics (the outsider) have no clue of what the Chua-Rubenfeld family is like (p. 2, l. 21). The fact that Chua-Rubenfeld is stating that “you don’t know what you’re talking about, because you don’t know me and/or my family” makes this a classical argument, which in reality is no valid argument. However, her main claim throughout the essay is supported by a strong warrant and ground. Chua-Rubenfeld’s main claim is that Amy Chua’s strict parenting forced her to be more independent and act as an adult. The way her mother did this was by pushing her daughter to become more successful. Chua-Rubenfeld’s mother taught her that creativity takes effort, which in this case is used as Chua-Rubenfeld’s warrant: One should always work hard and push one’s self to the limit. And according to Chua-Rubenfeld this applies to everyone independent of one’s goals in life. Only by forcing body and mind one can truly achieve anything.

Chua-Rubenfeld’s ground is very much connected to her claim and warrant, because she can see how her mother’s upbringing of her has made her independent, and has made her pursue knowledge. This is why Chua-Rubenfeld calls her mother “Tiger-mom”. The tiger symbolizes a fierce and brave person and the animal itself has a very high status. These are qualities that Sophia Chua-Rubenfeld appreciates, and thanks her mother for having. The Chua-Rubenfeld way of upbringing a child appears to be completely different from what experts believe is the correct way. In Kate Lovey’s article “Let them eat pizza: Parenting guru’s recipe for bringing up children” the reader is introduced to a different opinion. A parenting guru Dr Bryan Caplan claims that children’s lives are “shaped mostly by their genes and their own choices.” (p. 5, l. 18).

This article is characterized by its great use of argumentative features. Dr Bryan Caplan bases his arguments on biological research and scientifically proved facts. The appeal form used is ethos, since the reader trusts the doctor because he has a certain authority. However, the arguments that he uses do unfortunately not appear convincing, because he only bases his ground on quantitative data. It is possible to convince someone with statistical material but it involves using an amount of qualitative data, as it explains why statistics tell us what they do. The two previous articles may seem each other’s opposites, concerning the ways of raising a child. In A. S. Neill’s article “Summerhill – a radical approach to child rearing” he introduces another way of upbringing a child where he focuses on education. He clearly states that the important part of educating is helping the child in becoming better at what the child is good at.

He supports his claim by using a lot of topological features. In the beginning of the article he incorporates a story about Nijinsky to demonstrate his point: The world will not develop geniuses if it does not spot and utilize the child’s talent. By incorporating a famous ballet dancer he engages the reader because the reader can hardly disagree on what Neill is saying. The reader is also engaged because education is such an important thing. Through the education one is developed. Therefore it is essential that the educational system is properly functioning. It is important to remember the function of our educational system. The future of the world depends on the teachers and the pupils, and education should prepare the children for the world. But there is a fine line between preparing and dictating. The society does not only need lawyers, doctors, and other jobs associated with high status. It is dependent on and needs cleaning ladies, police officers, engineers as well as any other jobs.

Therefore, in order to provide the world with smart and skilled people the educational system should develop the child’s natural talent and interests. This is also applicable when talking about the upbringing of a child. For example some kids may naturally be better at sport and the parent should thus reward and encourage the child. However, there is something called general education which should be incorporated in the learning process, because the child will probably have some difficulties in the modern society if this is ignored. Furthermore, it is necessary to teach the child how to behave in certain situations and also in general. But a lot of the upbringing of a child depends on the cultural background. Different cultures have different ways of raising children. Depending on the culture the values in the upbringing of a child may vary extremely. However, the parent should acknowledge that we live in a globalized world where the child will meet different cultures. Therefore the parent should prepare the child for an open mind.

Gatsby: Nature of Romantic Love

The Great Gatsby is a story about a man, Gatsby, who is stuck in alternate reality. He is stuck in a past life and wants to remain in it forever. The Great Gatsby reflects a story about the great American dream and, as some may view, a beautiful love story. The Great Gatsby is not a story about perfect love. In fact, it actually mocks the notion that love having no flaws. Fitzgerald writes about the corruption of love and illustrates the obstacles and dangers of corrupted love. The “love” presented in The Great Gatsby is unethical. Fitzgerald depicts the nature of love in the novel to revolve around obsession, self-destruction, and greed. The Great Gatsby lacks true love and affection to make it a perfect love story. Gatsby is a character with an unrealistic conscience. He is blinded by an idea of love that only he can see. The love he sees is not true love, but in fact an obsession with lust. Helen Fisher, an anthropologist who studies human behavior states in “The Brain In Love”, “Romantic love is an addiction…a perfectly horrible addiction when it’s going poorly. And indeed it has all the characteristics of an addiction.

You focus on the person, you obsessively think about them, you crave them.” This quote taken from a TED Talk portrays Gatsby’s nature of love perfectly. He is addicted to the idea of Daisy. The addiction is horrible because all he does is focus on her and only her. Even though he has not spoken to her in years after the war, he still craves her. It is very clear that Fitzgerald wanted the audience to notice Gatsby’s frightening obsession with Daisy. He follows her every move. He becomes rich for her and buys a mansion for he and holds countless outrageous parties, all because of her. Gatsby says, “Look at this. Here is a lot of clippings-about you” (Fitzgerald 90). Gatsby documents Daisy’s life. He creates a scrapbook with countless pages regarding Daisy’s life. He collects every possible thing that relates to Daisy. He alters his life to make Daisy love him. “Infatuation then develops in a specific psychobiological pattern…beginning with intrusive thinking” (The Nature of Romantic Love).

This applies directly to Gatsby’s behavior. He consumes his time thinking about Daisy and planning his life accordingly to Daisy’s likes, dislikes, and interests. And after being rejected, the obsession worsens. Daisy has countless flaws including being indecisive, cowardly, and materialistic. She is not the type of person someone would typically fall in love with. But once again, the element of Gatsby’s obsession comes into play. His obsession causes blindness and he is unable to see Daisy’s flaws. In Helen Fisher’s “The Nature of Romantic Love she states, “But the limerent casts these flaws aside and fixates on those characteristics that he or she finds unique and charming” (The Nature of Romantic Love). Gatsby’s fixation on Daisy obliges him to only see the good in Daisy that was barely even there anymore. She doesn’t have the best qualities. She has the power to leave Tom, yet she doesn’t. Why? Because she has everything she needs by staying with him.

He supplies her with money, luxuries, and lives a comfortable life with him. Daisy puts her wants before the feelings and regards of others. Gatsby is sightless when it comes to pointing out Daisy’s negative qualities. The love presented in The Great Gatsby is self-destructive. It breaks Gatsby and forces him to partake in illegal activities to impress his significant other. The terrible obsession Gatsby has for Daisy causes him to not see the real Daisy. He is in love with the Daisy from the past. This essentially ruins him. He is not in love with the cowardly, shallow Daisy, but the sweet, comforting one from the past. Gatsby’s reality distorts after Daisy leaves him. Helen Fisher states in her TED talk, “You distort reality. Your willingness to take enormous risks to win this person.” Gatsby does just this. He corrupts and endangers his life because of his willingness to do anything for Daisy. He misrepresents his reality and does not see any harm in participating in illegal things. Gatsby takes risks for Daisy.

In Helen Fishers TED talk she explains that this is a factor of love. Fitzgerald illustrates this factor in his novel by developing Jay Gatsby’s character into someone who will take massive risks. He is willing to jeopardize his own life to impress Daisy. Tom Buchanan says, “That’s one of his little stunts. I picked him for a bootlegger the first time I saw him, and I wasn’t far wrong” (Fitzgerald 134). In this statement, Tom is reflecting his opinions on Gatsby, believing that Gatsby contributes to unjust acts. Tom was correct. Gatsby does partake in illegal activities and slowly destroys his reputation by doing so. People know of Gatsby’s misdemeanors. This is just another example of how unethical the love that exists in the novel really is. The love depicted in The Great Gatsby revolves around greed. The environment Daisy was raised in caused her to only view a materialistic life.

Helen Fisher writes, “Culture, for example, plays an essential role in one’s choice of partner and the timing and process of courting.” Daisy grows up in a very luxurious environment, where money is a factor that contributes to a person’s personality. Why does Daisy suddenly fall back in “ love” with Gatsby when he finally acquires a lot of money? Daisy’s idea of love is blinded with greed. For many years, she forgets about Gatsby when he goes to war and focuses and devotes her life to Tom Buchanan. Tom, a man of wealth, gives Daisy all she need, except love. Tom has multiple affairs with other mistresses, yet this does not bother Daisy. She is content living her life with Tom until Gatsby reveals himself. She falls back in love with Gatsby due to the amount of money he has. Only then does she decide to pursue a relationship with him. Daisy acts like a coward in the novel. Greed is what she has fallen in love with, not Gatsby nor Tom. Daisy’s greed gets in the way of the love that could have been between Gatsby and herself. Daisy’s importance in life orbits around material comforts.

She says, “They’re such beautiful shirts it makes me sad because I have never seen such beautiful shirts” (Fitzgerald 89). The stunning silk shirts represent all of the material luxuries Daisy obsesses over. She has fallen in love with the idea of Gatsby, but not him. Both Daisy and Gatsby confuse greed with love. They long for money and material possessions and corrupt love to fulfill their American Dreams. He believes money will bring him anything, even Daisy’s love. Fitzgerald writes in his novel, “Gatsby bought that house so that Daisy would be just across the bay. He had waited five years and bought a mansion where he dispensed starlight to casual moths — so that he could ‘come over’ some afternoon to a stranger’s garden” (78). Gatsby spends hundreds of thousands buying a mansion out of greed. He is ravenous for Daisy’s attention. Daisy represents a life filled with luxuries and money and essentially, the American Dream. Gatsby was never able to let that idea go so he devotes the majority of his time to Daisy.

Fitzgerald’s novel represents a life full of corruption and mimics the idea of love. It intertwines the ideas of obsession, destruction, and greed among the characters. Gatsby and Daisy’s relationship focuses on the materialism of the era. Instead of truly falling in love with one another, they fell in love with the idea of each other. Gatsby fell in love with the Daisy that no longer existed and Daisy fell in love with what Gatsby represented; greed, money, corruption, and luxuries. The love presented in The Great Gatsby was not love, but an unhealthy infatuation of obsession and greed. Fitzgerald describes the nature of love to be unscrupulous. The characters were not in love, but rather in love with a perfect idea of one another that did not exist.

Falling in Love with Fall

A cool, crisp breeze with just a tinge of warmth brushes my face. The pearl-grey sky and sound of leaves twisting and twirling – I watch as they dance carelessly through the air. My favorite season is autumn because of the many changes and feelings of gratitude it brings, the festivities, and fashion.

One of the main reasons I enjoy autumn is because of the many festivities and activities. Not only is the weather cooler, especially in Texas, for outdoor fun but people’s spirits seem brighter. Every year there are so many things to do, festivals and carnivals to picking pumpkins and haunted houses. For me, it’s the sound of kids crunching through the leaves with laughter filling the air; their excitement is contagious and reminiscent of my childhood. The competitive feeling of who can get the most candy and the anticipation of shuffling through it all and scarfing down the best pieces. Because fall allows me to socialize with loved ones and new friends alike, it is my favorite season.

Another reason I love the autumn are the feelings of change and gratitude. It might seem like a New Years idiom, but for me autumn is the most perfect time to mark new beginnings and reflect on the year that’s gone by. Maybe it’s the transition the environment makes, the colors of the leaves and the warm air turning cool. It’s intoxicating. As I crack open my bedroom window and curl up on my bed draping a cashmere throw over my legs, the smell of the leather from my journal mixes with the cool air and aroma of a newly opened bottle of wine. I sit and write about the year behind me, the memories and thoughts the ideas of my future. A nice counterpart to enjoying time with loved ones, it’s a perfect atmosphere to enjoy time alone; this is why it is my favorite season.

I’ve saved the best for last, another great reason to love fall – fashion. Gone are the days of strappy tops and sandals, fall bring in a fresh cozy style. It’s a new excuse for shopping! Every year, come mid-September I make my way to the mall. With a delicious pumpkin spice latte in hand I fill my arms with an arsenal of clothing and accessories for fall. Tall boots and heeled booties are first on my list then its flowing cardigans, poncho and double breasted jackets. The warm tones of purple and gold fill my bags and I can’t wait to show off my new collections at the many gatherings and festivities fall will bring. It is especially because of this, that autumn is my favorite season.

With so many reasons to love fall, the best are those that engage your heart. It’s magical that even with the cool air; autumn can make a person feel warm. New beginnings at school and the gathering of loved ones, the smell of burning fireplaces hitting the cold air, watching as the trees shed their leaves. You can’t help but to feel a calm sense of hope this time of year.

Romantic Love and Marriage

Abstract:

When identifying the central components that constitute general social structures, one cannot overlook the integral role that marriage, in its many manifestations, plays in the make-up of human societies. Marriage, or the ultimate extension of pair bonding, developed largely as a cultural adaptation to the reproduction of slowly developing human offipring and hence can be viewed as a method of maximizing reproductive fitness. If this assumption is correct, then one may presume that it would be beneficial to humans and their reproductive success to engage in marriages of relative stability. Hence, it would be reasonable to assume that there must be methods of stabilizing marriages in all societies. This paper will examine the relationship that exists between romantic love and marriage, as well as the functional role that love may play as a stabilizing agent in certain matrimonial unions.

Recent research indicates that romantic love is a fairly universal concept, yet it is not universally considered an important factor in marriage (Jankowiak & Fischer 1992). This paper will discuss the relationship between romantic love and marriage, as well as the factors that appear to make love an important part of a matrimonial agreement. The following is an attempt to demonstrate the functionality of romantic love, in the sense that love may act as a basis for stabilizing marriage in some societies.

In discussing romantic love, current approaches seem to view this as a near universal concept, as it seems to be a present cultural attribute in 89 percent of contemporary societies (Jankowiak 1995). Studies dealing with the concept of love seem to emphasize the functionality of romantic attachment, either in terms of its possible stabilizing power in marriage or its importance as an evolutionary adaptation designed to maintain pair bonds and their associated reproductive contracts. The body of literature in the realm of romantic 16  love seems to view love as a functional and adaptive concept rather than a random cultural phenomenon. Hence, researchers seem to approach romantic love as a complex three dimensional concept, whereby its expression is controlled by an interaction of varied biological, psychological and cultural factors. William R. Jankowiak suggests that “romantic passion is a complex multifaceted emotional phenomenon that is a byproduct of interplay between biology, self, and society. It is this complexity that separates romantic passion from other more basic emotions that are readily experienced, easily recognized, and, thus, understandable around the world” (1995: 4).

This suggests that while there appears to be an extensive amount of literature detailing the research surrounding the idea of romantic love, the consensus seems to be that love is an incredibly difficult concept to quantify or operationalize, thus making it difficult to produce a defmitive body of research in this area. According to Leonard Plotnicov, “irrefutable evidence of romantic love is virtually impossible to obtain even under optimal conditions because it depends on subjective evaluation and self-reporting or imprecise objective criteria” (1995: 138). The anthropological literature tackling the topic of romantic love concerns possible factors that make love an integral part of general social structure and marriage in certain societies, such as modes of subsistence dependence, sexual equality and post-marital residence rules.

One cannot overstate the significance that lies in understanding the relationship between love and marriage, as both are critical elements of humanity. Understanding love as a functioning agent in maintaining marital stability allows us to better understand an important part of who we are as humans. Hence, as a basic building block of human social structure, romantic ·love and its role in the maintenance of society is an incredibly important area of research. Much of the anthropological community agrees that romantic love does constitute a valid area of research, and hopes to repair the general oversight of love that occurred in earlier ethnographic work (Jankowiak 1992 and Fischer 1992).

In order to analyze the relationship between romantic love and marriage, it is necessary to compare current thinking with respect to this theme. It is also important to research and discuss love in terms of its functional role in society, or more appropriately, its functional role in marriage. As love appears to be a universal element of human societies, it is necessary to address the factors that make this concept an integral part of marriage in certain societies. In essence, love is important as a functional concept in marriage under certain cultural  conditions, and the purpose of the following is to determine what those cultural conditions are.
The results of this research approach the problem of romantic love as a stabilizing basis for marriage under certain conditions from a number of directions. To begin with, it is important to investigate how researchers define the abstract concept of love as weB has how they determine its presence or absence in a particular society. Psychologist Paul Rosenblatt was one of the first researchers to establish a system designed to systematically measUre romantic love by developing a cross-cultural, eleven-point scale based on eleven criteria extracted from the HRAF categories 581 (Basis for Marriage) and 831 (Sexuality).

These criteria include: (1) the idealization of potential spouse, especially of traits not directly related to capacity to satisfY material needs, (2) ethnographer states romantic love is important, (3) marriages are not arranged, (4) non-compeBed, idealization-based faith and loyalty to mate are common, (5) high incidence of elopement in societies where marriages are typically arranged, (6) married individuals give nonobligated gifts to one another and spend spare time together, (7) belief in predestination for marriage partners, (8) suicide over unrequited love, (9) people gain happiness and pleasure from marriage, (10) noncompeBed mourning at the death of a spouse, and (11) jealousy that reflects “strong attachment” (Rosenblatt 1967: 475). According to Rosenblatt, “raters were instructed to give higher scores on importance of romantic love as a basis for marriage ‘the more clearly, strongly, and predominately’ romantic love was as a basis for marital unions” (1967: 474-5). While the results of this rating of romantic love were used to analyze the relationship between love and marital residence patterns in this particular study, these criteria paved the way for research dealing with romantic love, as it created a more objective method for determining the presence or absence of love in a society.

William Jankowiak’s work on romantic love has further quantified this concept by developing additional indices that suggest the presence of romantic love. It is important to note that his indices borrow from and synthesize the above criteria established by Rosenblatt. In an important paper co-authored by Edward Fischer, Jankowiak solidifies a working definition of romantic love as “any intense attraction that involves the idealization of the other, within an erotic context, with the expectation of enduring for some time into the future” (1992: 150).” In an attempt to demonstrate the universality of love, Jankowiak and Fischer looked for the presence of six indicators in a sample of 166 societies and consequently coded each society as (a) love present or (b) love absent on the basis of their criteria (1992: 152). 18

These indices include: “accounts depicting personal anguish and longing, the use of love songs or folklore that highlight the motivations behind romantic involvement, elopement due to mutual affection, native accounts affIrming the existence of passionate love, and the ethnographer’s affIrmation that romantic love is present” (Jankowiak & Fischer 1992: 152). It is important to note that this study only examined the fIrst two years of involvement between individuals. This reflects the psychological studies that draw a clear distinction between romantic passion and the companionship phase of love, sometimes referred to as attachment (Jankowiak 1995: 4). This distinction further defmes the concept of romantic love as utilized in this study.

Additionally, psychologists have created a list of seven core properties that “are common to the experience of fully being in love within almost any cultural setting” (Harris 1995: 100). These attributes include the desire for union, idealization of the beloved, exclusivity, intrusive thinking about the love object, emotional dependency, a reordering of motivational hierarchies or life priorities, and a powerful sense of empathy and concern for the beloved. Harris goes on to state that “the existence of romantic love can be recognized in the perceived specialness of another individual” (100-10 1). This study further elucidates the criteria that researchers have searched for in societies in order to determine the existence of love, whether in poetry, stories, or stated affIrmations of affection recorded by ethnographers.

Hence, the above studies have provided researchers with an operationalized defmition of love, whereby a set of criteria was developed that helps indicate the presence or absence of romantic love in a society. These defInitions are employed in several of the following studies, and have enabled researchers to more objectively analyze a very abstract and personal phenomenon.

After developing a means of studying the concept of romantic love, Jankowiak and Fischer employed the above indices in order to document its existence in a cross-cultural sample of the world’s societies. They were able to document the presence of romantic love in 88.5 percent of a sample of cultures obtained from the Standard CrossCultural Sample (Jankowiak & Fischer 1992: 152). In a later work, Jankowiak was able to document love in two more societies, bringing the current total to 89 percent (Jankowiak 1995). He concludes that these data suggest that romantic love is a near-universal concept. In this way, he hoped to eliminate the earlier assumptions that romantic love is a uniquely Western phenomenon.

His later work builds on this research by compiling a series of articles further discussing the topic of romantic love, including articles that even suggest that romantic attachment is a biological adaptation of 19  the human brain that maximizes reproductive success. He notes that “worldwide data on the duration of marriage and timing of divorce suggest that the brain physiology for human attraction, attachment, and detachment evolved in conjunction with our primary human reproductive strategy” (1995: 29). Jankowiak suggests that many researchers believe that romantic love evolved as a means of improving human reproductive strategies through a concentration of parental investment.

Thus, Jankowiak and Fischer’s documentation of the universality of love set an important precedent, encouraging researchers to examine the adaptiveness of this cultural trait. However, the aforementioned studies do not explain why this apparently universal concept, biologically and psychologically, is only an important basis for marriage in a select sample of societies. The following is an analysis of the research that has been conducted with the goal of explaining which cultural factors determine the importance of romantic love as a basis for marriage.

In a cross-cultural study, Rosenblatt and Cozby found an association between freedom of choice in choosing a spouse and greater romantic love as a basis for marriage. In their research, they found that “the greater the freedom of choice, the greater also was the degree of exaggeration of qualities (versus objectivity), the more important was sex as a source of attraction, and the more important were feelings of affection and courtly love” (Rosenblatt & Cozby 1972: 693). Additionally, they associated freedom of choice with greater male-female contact, greater frequency of dances, and community endogamy. This research indicates that where individuals are granted more freedom of choice when choosing a spouse, romantic love is a more important basis for marriage, leading to impractical mate choices and increased relational antagonism (Rosenblatt & Cozby: 1972).

Impractical mate choices were defined as choices that were not based on practical grounds which include “food-getting skills, value of alliances created by the marriage, just plain proximity, rank, personality, food preparation skills, strength and health” (693). This suggests that in many ways, arranged marriages are meant to avoid the risks associated with freedom of choice, as they are designed around entirely practical grounds such as alliance formation or rank, which in certain societies may be beneficial to the couple or the associated kin groups. Additionally, antagonism includes “insulting, teasing, verbal argument, physical battles, wrestling, stone throwing, and playing pranks” (694). Rosenblatt and Cozby attribute the increased relational antagonism to “the strong emotionality of courtship coupled with ambiguity of situation in societies with a great deal of freedom of choice” (Ibid). 20

A second piece conducted by Rosenblatt attempted to establish a relationship between post-marital residence rules and romantic love. As previously noted, it was in this study that Rosenblatt created a systemic method of measuring love in societies. In a sample of 75 societies, he rated the importance of romantic love based on his eleven criteria. He then divided these societies based on their neolocal or non-neolocal post-marital residence rules and found that the 59 strictly non-neolocal societies rated romantic love as more important (10.54 on his II-point scale) than the 6 neolocal societies, whose mean rating of romantic love was 4.67 (1967: 476). His results indicate that “the obtained relationship between marital residence and romantic love may mean that romantic love is maladaptive in a neolocal society” (477).

Hence, his research showed that romantic love was found to be most important as a basis for marriage in societies with non-neolocal marital residence and least important in neolocal societies. However, this contradicts the existence of romantic love in neolocal societies such as the United States. He explains this deviation as follows: the unusually high level of romantic love in neolocal, industrialized societies may result from a sophisticated technology of communication, which exposes families in such societies to some divisive pressures typical of non-neolocal societies, and from the low level of economic interdependence of spouses in industrialized societies, which creates a need for sources of cohesion alternative to economic interdependence (1967: 479).

Hence, his findings indicate that while marital residence does show a correlation to the importance of love as a basis for marriage, it may be other factors associated with these residence patterns that actually affect the expression of love, such as divisive pressures from relatives and the levels of economic dependence.

Rosenblatt continues this line of thought in a study done in conjunction with Coppinger, in which they examine the relationship between subsistence dependence and the importance of romantic love as a basis for marriage. Coppinger and Rosenblatt hypothesize that subsistence dependence is an important source of marital stability in many societies, and suggest that where this dependence is low or absent, that love becomes a replacement. They defined subsistence dependence as a “measure of the degree of balance of division of labor by sex” (Coppinger & Rosenblatt 1968: 312). In an analysis of gender, Mascia-Lees and Black have defined the sexual division of labor, in that “the division classifies tasks into those that can be performed by men and those by women. Men and women must, therefore, depend on 21  one another since each is incapable of doing all the tasks necessary for survival” (Mascia-Lees & Black 2000: 73).

This division of labor creates high levels of subsistence dependence. Hence, in societies with a strict division of labor, men and women are highly dependent upon one another and this serves to maintain the pair bond without expressions of romantic love. Coppinger and Rosenblatt rated the “balance of the division of labor and the importance of romantic love as a basis of marriage using a sample of 55 cultures with non-neolocal marital residence. They rated the’importance of love using Rosenblatt’s II-point scale established in a prior study and they found a significant correlation between these variables, supporting their hypothesis that the greater the imbalance in division of labor by sex, the more important romantic love is as a basis of marriage. Thus, they conclude that ”romantic love serves, among other things, to establish and maintain marital bonds in the face of the divisiveness of weak bonds of economic dependence” (Coppinger & Rosenblatt 1968: 314).

The above research has not only guided current studies in the field of romantic love, but other researchers have revisited these studies and either drawn from the results to further develop an understanding of the function of romantic love, or they have challenged the methods utilized. Carol Mukhopadhyay challenges the results of the 1968 Coppinger and Rosenblatt study that cites a correlation between subsistence dependence and romantic love, suggesting that the introduction of a third variable, subsistence technology, “virtually eliminates the empirical support for the study and emerges as the stronger predictor of romantic love” (Mukhopadhyay 1979: 60).

Additionally, she challenges their testing procedures and their measures of economic interdependency and romantic love. With a closer look at her research, it appears that she defmes subsistence technology as a rating of the intensity of agricultural production, from the absence of agriculture to the presence of intensive irrigation agricUlture. She argues that there is a stronger correlation between technology and romantic love than there is between love and economic dependence, a finding that she suggests warrants further investigation (Mukhopadhyay 1979).

Lastly, in a recent study, de Munck and Korotayev propose that there will be a positive correlation between the importance of romantic love and social indicators of sexual equality and permissiveness, in that societies which permit premarital and/or extramarital sex for both sexes will consider romantic love as a more important basis for marriage than societies in which this is prohibited (1999). These researchers use the eleven criteria for measuring the importance of romantic love in marriage in the HRAF but test a 22  different set of hypotheses.

Using Rosenblatt’s scale, they found support for their argument with regard to females only, suggesting that, “it is not just a blanket prohibition against extramarital sex but specifically a prohibition against females and not against males that inhibits the development of romantic love” (de Munck & Korotayev 1999: 272). In this sense, they argue that the existence of sexual equality in a particular society is an important factor in determining if romantic love is an important basis in marriage. This study focuses on the link between sex and romantic love, something that they argue not all researchers agree upon.

As a complete whole, these findings begin to answer some of the questions posed above. These studies employed cross-cultural research in order to (1) establish a methodological system for determining the existence of romantic love in a particular society (Rosenblatt 1967; Jankowiak & Fischer 1992; Harris 2000), (2) establish the universality of romantic love, and (3) examine some of the cultural factors that make romantic love an important basis in marriage in certain societies but not others. However, the cultural constructions discussed in the above studies do not create a complete list of factors that affect the importance of romantic love. Additionally, the studies analyzed in this paper discuss love and other mechanisms as possible stabilizing agents, but fail to provide ways by which to measure the relative stability of a marital union.

For example, in the study by Coppinger and Rosenblatt, they state that “Dependence of marriage partners upon one another for subsistence is probably an important source of marital stability” (Coppinger & Rosenblatt 1968: 310). They do not provide a defmition of marital stability, making it difficult to identify a clear relationship between love and stability. However, there is a distinct correlation between subsistence dependence and love. Assumptions such as this regarding marital stability make it difficult to definitively conclude that romantic love is emphasized in certain societies in order to replace other sources of stability. It would be helpful to further research the indicators of marital stability, such as divorce rates and number of spouses. However, from the above research, one can begin to get an idea of some of the cultural mechanisms that regulate the degree to which love is emphasized as a basis for marriage, although the research included in this investigation fails to concretely demonstrate the ways in which love contributes to marital stability. Additionally, the demonstrated correlations between romantic love and specific cultural patterns, such as arranged marriages or marital residence rules, provide a better understanding of the origin and purpose of these variable social mechanisms. 23

Conclusion

While research indicates that romantic love may have evolved as a fairly universal psychological emotion, it is the interplay of several cultural mechanisms that determine the degree to which this emotion is emphasized and expressed. Since this abstract concept is difficult to objectively study, researchers have had to develop a set of criteria that indicate the presence, absence and relative importance of love in societies. In doing so, they have found that patterns of marital residence, subsistence dependence, sexual equality, and courtship patterns all correlate with the degree to which romantic love is valued. Hence, this creates a short list of cultural mechanisms that regulate the expression of romantic love.

The variability with which love is valued as a basis for marriage suggests that in societies where love is emphasized, love plays a function in the marital union, whereas societies that employ arranged marriages replace the function of love with other elements, such as subsistence dependence. According to Coppinger and Rosenblatt, “That love would serve as a substitute for subsistence dependence rather than develop in all societies seems likely because love may be costly in some ways for societies. Hence, love seems unlikely to emerge as a cultural pattern where the functions it serves may be accomplished in less costly ways” (Coppinger & Rosenblatt 1968: 311). Hence, the research analyzed in this paper looks at cultural factors that exhibit relationships with romantic love, thus exposing some of the functional purposes of this emotion.

Works Cited

Love and Coppinger, RM and Rosenblatt, PC. (1968) “Romantic
Subsistence Dependence of Spouses.” Southwestern Journal
of Anthropology 24: 310-319.
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Harris, H. (1995) “Rethinking Heterosexual Relationships in
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Secret To Love

I’ve been told that waiting for something or someone that you love is the best thing that someone could do. Well hearing that I took it to heart and kept it true, after losing the love of my life Alyssa Bara I knew that I had made a huge mistake and I would regret it for the rest of my life… June 10th 2010 was probably one of the best dates that I can remember; it was the first time that I talked to the most amazing girl ever. Around 8:00pm I had gotten on Facebook to update my status because I was so amazed that at the end of summer I would be going to Dallas for a basketball tournament with my team the “San Antonio Jayhawks.” But soon after I had logged on I received a message from a girl that I normally didn’t talk to but I gave high fives to everyday in middle school. The message read “Hey, we never talk but I think we should start here is my number 210-xxx-xxxx” I was shocked I wasn’t expecting that to happen because I had noticed her but never had those feelings toward her like I do now but I took the opportunity to meet and get to know a new person. Fast forward like 5 weeks and now its June 19th, her birthday.

By this time I was having feelings for her like none stop and I couldn’t stop thinking about her I was literally falling head over heels for her, but she was leaving me well not for good but she was going on a cruise for like a week and that meant that she would not be able to use her phone at all. So I was going to be miserable but by the grace of god she still had some service out there so I still talked to her and thought about her cute laugh and sweet voice. a week went by quick so I could finally hear the voice of the girl that I just now started crushing on, and oh boy did I take advantage of talking to her lol. I’m pretty sure that I was on the phone for at least 4 hours with her, but only for that one day because well I had to take flight for Dallas that next morning so I was sad again. But I was still able message her since I had my phone at the time. So over the duration of my trip I tried to figure out a way to tell her I liked her but couldn’t figure anything out till about the third day in Dallas.

On that third day I had just got back from a basketball game and I was exhausted but I knew that my crush had been waiting for me to get back so I texted her, but this text wasn’t any regular text, today was going to be the day that I told her how I feel about her. I waited till about 8:00 when it was starting to get dark and I started the text that would change my life forever. “Just send it Brandon it’s just a message” is what I told myself as I sat there with a nervous look. After like 15 mins of debating whether I should send it or not, I finally got the courage… Bing the phone went notifying me that the message has been sent and the message I sent reading “I’m scared of the dark can I sleep with you.”

Persuasive essay – Love

Love is a beautiful thing. It makes people happy. It can change a person, and show someone things that they never knew about themselves. It lifts one up, knowing there is always someone who will stand by their side through anything. It brings people together, and makes the world a better place. Some people may disagree; they might think love is just a fantasy. Either way, it is a fantasy that everyone deserves to dream of and experience in all its glory, whether straight, lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender. However, not all people are so accepting of love when it is not in the form that they are familiar with, or is not demonstrated in ways that they think are proper. This can be easily seen in society’s treatment of non-heterosexuals, especially in the cases of marriage laws, bullying by teens and young adults, and general homophobic attitudes in our culture. It is important that these situations be changed so that each and every person has the same rights and is not harshly and wrongly judged because of the sex of the person that they love.

When thinking of the word “marriage,” what comes to mind? Is it long white dresses and dapper tuxedos, or a towering cake and beautiful flowers? Do sappy love songs and the first dance come to mind? Some imagine a fairytale come true, with a horse and carriage whisking the happy couple away from the church in which they nervously exchanged vows? No matter what comes to mind, most people can agree that marriage is happy, and wonderful, and beautiful. But for the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender, or LGBT, community across America, marriage is but a distant dream. Same-sex marriages are allowed in very few states and under limited circumstances. Not only is this unconstitutional, because the American constitution gives everyone the same rights despite their sexuality, but it is simply prejudiced. A gay couple that just got married in New York today does not affect the government or society; however some people cannot accept this and feel the need to ban non-heterosexuals from marriage because they feel that it corrupts the institution of marriage. Yes, the legal definition of marriage includes that it is between one man and one woman. This definition is not fair. Marriage should be about powerful love and support, despite the genders of the two recipients.

Minnesota republican Wheelock Whitney, who ran for governor and senator in past years, wrote an editorial on his support for gay marriage in the Star Tribune last month. He said: “Gay men and lesbians are among the most talented people out there. Needless and hurtful laws [banning same-sex marriage] drive them away. They also drive away innovative people of any sexual orientation who simply want to live in a place that respects and celebrates the diversity of life.” He continued by saying: “my happiness has never depended on depriving others of their happiness. My marriage has never needed the exclusion of others from marriage. I am not threatened by seeing others find love and celebrate it.” Gays are normal people just like anyone else, who struggle with their identities and live in search of success, love, and happiness. Prejudiced laws banning same-sex marriage needlessly keep these people from natural human desires. No damage is done to society by letting same-sex couple marry and lead more content, loving lives. If anything, it makes our country a better, happier place. While adult non-heterosexuals are regularly discriminated against via their denied access from legal marriage, those much younger face constant discrimination and bullying from their peers.

More and more so these days stories arise of kids who were bullied for their sexuality and felt no hope that things would get better, so they chose to end their lives. No one deserves to experience that kind of hatred, especially a child. In an article by Make Beats Not Beatdowns, a music-oriented organization dedicated to fighting bullying, it was reported that in the year 2007, almost 9 out of 10 LGBT teens were verbally harassed at school strictly because of their sexual orientation. About 44% of LGBT teens were physically harassed, and 22% were physically assaulted. The worst part is that two-thirds of these kids and teens never reported the incidents (“Bullying & Homosexuality”). Kids and teens often make fun of gays without even realizing the harsh degree of what they are saying or doing, and they do not understand how badly their words and actions can hurt. This is why almost a quarter of LGBT teens think about or even attempt suicide each year, a percentage four times higher than that of heterosexual teens.

People should never feel the need to take their lives because other people do not approve of the people they love, but unfortunately, young gays feel this need on a regular basis. Perhaps the reason young people are so inclined to be prejudiced towards gays, bisexuals, and transgendered people is because of the negative ideas that society gives them. For example, it is overwhelmingly common to hear someone refer to something bad or insulting as “gay.” “You’re not coming to the party tonight? That’s so gay.” Or “You’re in math club? You’re so gay.” Gay should never be used as a synonym for “bad,” “stupid,” “lame,” or “weird.” People would not call someone “black” because he or she is not going to a party, so why is it okay to call that person “gay?” In an article for Evanston Patch, Boston University freshman Eric Linder, who is openly gay, said: “I have friends who still use gay slurs and make no effort to stop.

I know that they don’t mean anything by it, but it does bother me when people use it” (“Gay Slurs”). This is such a common form of prejudice that people do not even realize they are doing it, but that does not make it okay. It is hurtful and wrong, and people should be made more aware of how disrespectful it sounds. In addition, some people claim to think non-heterosexuals and heterosexuals are equals, yet they snicker or laugh when they see a non-heterosexual couple holding hands or sharing a kiss. People think it is funny, or even disgusting. It is understandable to find it out of the ordinary, because to some people, it is. But to non-heterosexuals, it is simply a part of their lives, and should not be mocked by others. There was once a time when interracial couples would be laughed at in a similar manner, but society changed over time and interracial couples are no longer looked at in that way. It is obviously time for society to make another adjustment to encompass non-heterosexuals couples as well. No matter how one looks at it, non-heterosexuals are treated differently than heterosexuals, despite some of society’s efforts to promote gay rights. They do not deserve this unfair treatment that is evident in marriage laws, bullying, and the general attitude of our culture. Fortunately, our culture is changing, slowly but surely, and hopefully one day lesbians, gays, bisexuals, and transgendered people will have the same rights as straight people.

Those who oppose gay marriage often play the religious card. Let’s not forget that the bible was once used to enforce segregation, but that isn’t practiced anymore. Jay Michaelson states in his article “Ten Reason Why Gay Rights Is a Religious Issue” the bible actually enforces equality for the LGBT community. He wrote, “OPPONENTS OF SAME-SEX MARRIAGE REMIND US THAT IN Genesis, “it’s Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.” But “Adam and Eve” is the solution to a problem: the existential crisis of aloneness.” He goes on to say that God loves us and doesn’t want to harm ourselves, but the suicide rate among day teens is about six times more of heterosexual teens. People often get asked why a straight person is so passionate about this topic, and the answer to that question is because everyone should have the same rights. Who a person loves should have nothing to do with how they are treated. If one of the women in this room fell in love with a girl, would she be supported? Or ostracized? If your brother came out tomorrow, in the years ahead would you support his desire to get married to his boyfriend? Or would you disapprove? The only way for homophobia and the opposition of rights for non-heterosexuals to stop is if you can answer these questions with true compassion, and with the understanding that everyone, no matter their sexuality, deserves to be loved and respected.

Works Cited
Graham, Jordan. “Gay Slurs and Heteronormativity at ETHS – Evanston, IL Patch.” Evanston Patch. N.p., 19 Oct. 2011. Web. 03 May 2013. . Make Beats Not Beatdowns. “Facts & Statistics.” Bully Facts & Statistics. N.p., 2010. Web. 03 May 2013. . Michaelson, Jay. “Ten Reasons Why Gay Rights Is A Religious Issue.” Tikkun 25.4 (2010): 34-70. Academic Search Premier. Web. 3 May 2013. Whitney, Wheelock. “Why I Reject the Marriage Amendment.” StarTribune. N.p., 2011. Web. 03 May 2013. .

Love should grow up like a wild iris

Since the beginning of human existence love has earned a meaning of pure bliss and wild passion between two people that cannot be broken. Through out time the meaning of love has had its slight shifts but for the most part, maintains a positive value. In the poem “Love Should Grow Up Like a Wild Iris in the Fields,” the author, Susan Griffin expresses that this long lost concept of love is often concealed by the madness of everyday life and reality. In the poem, Griffin uses many literary elements to help convey the importance of true love. The usage of imagery, symbolism, and other literary techniques really help communicate Griffins’ meaning that love is not joyous and blissful as its ‘s commonly portrayed but often broken by the problems in our everyday lives.

Through out the whole entire poem, Griffin uses a metaphor comparing a wild iris to love. Just like a wild iris, love can grow into something so beautiful and flourish so quickly with no limits on stopping. In the start of the poem Griffin says, “”Love should grow up like a wild iris in the fields, unexpected, after a terrible storm, opening a purple mouth to the rain, with not a thought to the future, ignorant of the grass and the graveyard of leaves around, forgetting its own beginning”, meaning that love should grow with no domestication and no boundaries just like a wild iris after a terrible storm (1-5). By using this metaphor the reader can really understand the value that love should flourish beautifully with no worries about its surroundings just as a wild iris does in an open field. This really gives the reader a mental image to help really grasp the emotional significance of how spontaneous and wild love should be.

In the second stanza Griffin introduces the reality of love. She uses symbolism and imagery to really portray how love is often neglected by the realities of everyday life. She starts the stanza with, “Love more often is to be found in kitchens at the dinner hour, tired out and hungry,” which gives the reader a completely different feeling in comparison to the metaphor with the iris growing in the wild fields (8-9). Dinnertime is often portrayed as “time with family”, but Griffin follows that line with, “tired out and hungry” giving the reader gets a negative connotation (9). Griffin is suggesting that love is “more often” to be portrayed to be this feeling of bliss but is really over powered by the problems of everyday life such as exhaustion and hunger to name the simplest. Love is not just represented by a marriage; you must fall in love with one another and continue that feeling but often times that is forgotten due to the common roadblocks in life. In the second stanza, Griffin portrays love as “houses where the walls record movements”, while in comparison to the wild iris whose love blossoms uncontrollably which cannot even be kept in a place with confined space without overgrowing (9-10).

This could symbolize that love cannot be suffocated or have boundaries and like an iris you must let love takes its course. The author continues to compare love to a house “while the cook is probably angry, and the ingredients of the meal are budgeted, while a child cries feed me now and her mother not quite hysterical says over and over, wait just a bit”, which really gives of a sense of turmoil after reading through it (11-13). Every situation the author talks about above is everyday stressor that couples in love commonly fight about whether it’s from budget to infants. For example, normally a happy wife enjoys cooking for the family and feeding the kids. Happy and joyous feelings are usually associated with this event. Griffin explains the cook as “angry…while the child cries feed me now”, giving off a very undesirable tone which can relate to how the burn for your partners love is often overpowered by the pandemonium of peoples everyday lives. In the first stanza Griffin really uses nature to explain love, where as in stanza 2 she uses the house and all the events that happen during “dinner hour” which really expresses the negative mood and tone while reading. It was a very abrupt change in the flow because it goes from a more free-flowing and positive tone to a fast-paced tone and sense of chaos towards the end of the second stanza.

The author uses the line “Love should grow up like a wild iris in the fields” on four separate occasions from start to finish in the poem. Each time used, Griffin changes the word play following the line, which each gives its own tone to it. The first time he used the line was in the first sentence that was quickly followed with the stanza that gave of a sense of beauty while comparing love to nature. The second time Griffin uses the line she follows it with “but does not” and then compares love to dinner hour, which portrays a tone of turmoil and sadness (7). The third and fourth time Griffin uses the line they are followed by “but never does” and “but doesn’t”, both giving off a very negative tone in comparison to the first time Griffin used the phrase in the first line (15 & 30). The author goes from explaining the ideal value of love and how it’s perceived in the first stanza and as each stanza passes she begins to reveal how love really is perceived. This literary technique definitely helps portray the reader grasp the meaning of the illusion of the ideal love versus reality.

In the final stanza, Griffins symbol of the wild iris takes on a whole new meaning as the “iris” of an eye. In relationship to the function of an eye, the iris of an eye can be a symbolic meaning that love is going to be perceived differently through every ones own view. A couple must be able to adjust with everyday misfortune that arises just as an iris of an eye does when it becomes too bright and needs to adjust to the sunlight. An effective technique Griffin used to contribute to the meaning of the poem is when she left the words “love should” on its own line near the end of the poem so it really catches the reader’s eye (29). In doing so, it gives the reader a visual almost as if the sentence is incomplete and the one reading should fill in what they think love should be. This directly relates back to the symbolism for the iris, which represents how all humans will perceive love differently through their point of view.

The society has always shaped the meaning of love as something so perfect and flawless that all must go through in there lifetime. Is there one universal definition for “true love”? Susan Griffins writing style plays a large factor in portraying the ideal meaning of love versus the truth behind love. Her use of metaphors to describe love is really effective, giving the reader a vivid image whether it was love flourishing wildly in the open or just confined in the walls of a house hidden by all the stress and everyday burdens of life. Love is in the eyes of the beholder. What do you
think love should be?

All you need is love

“All you need is love”, it’s perfectly described by the Beatles, and indeed it is. Love, the greatest gift of all, the most important thing for every single one of us. Loving your friends, your family, your pets, or, especially, that precious boy or girl, man or woman. It’s the phenethylamine that makes us fall in love and gives us that incredible feeling when we see a special person. After a few years our body gets used to that hormone and the endorfines in our brain take over. They give us the warm, calm, safe feeling with a person. However we live in a society where we can all fall in love with the person we want, there are still places in the world where people can’t. Forbidden love or arranged marriages, it sounds way too outdated to us, but it unfortunately still exists today. When we say love, hate isn’t far away. It’s mostly considered as the opposite of love, but we have to see it badly enough as a synonym. Lots of relationships go wrong and end up in hating each other or in very few cases it ends up in harming each other or even killing each other, which is called a crime of passion.

Why does it go wrong? Wasn’t love the most precious thing on earth? Well, with love comes crave to be with a person, jealousy, fear to lose that person and discussions with that person, which leads often to distrust. When you are loved and have everything you need, it’s apparently not so difficult for too many people to flirt with others or even cheat. For many couples, the fourteenth of February is the day to prove their love, but for others it’s exactly the same average day. Every Valentine’s day tons of flowers and tons of chocolate are sold all around the world, not speaking of the incredible amount of money that is spent on that day. For the happy singles in the world, there is Singles Awareness Day (SAD), also on the fourteenth of February. Valentine’s day or not, we should prove our love also every other day of the year. There can be concluded that without love the world would not survive, we have to make love not war. Every person should be able to love the one he wants, without being judged, being harmed or being forced to. The Beatles are absolutely right: “Love is all you need”.

This Is The Dark Time My Love

The title of the poem is ironic “Dark” time is symbolic of confusion, sorrow or chaos. The appellation “my love” , tempers this darkness with hope as though the speaker were expressing concern or affection for another person. The speaker is a patriot and there is a sense of urgency as he expresses concern about events taking place around him. The mood of the poem is “gloomy”. The atmosphere is a dreary one and there is also a feeling of dread. The Speakers’ tone is both matter of fact and reflective. The themes include : Oppression

The Scourge of War and Deferred Dreams

In the first stanza, the land is over run by “brown beetles”, this a metaphor for the marauding soldiers. Collectively in this Stanza, Nature is in an apocalyptic state: For eg. “A Sun is shining but cannot be seen and flowers are writhing.”

In stanza 2, the poet uses a mixture of metaphor and oxymoron to characterize the horrific happenings. The poet contrasts the incongruity of war and the joy the war mongers find in it. Everyday events that bring joy and excitement. For eg. Festivals and Carnivals are contrasting with War and Suffering. The idea of “Season” in this stanza suggests a period or time of moral darkness.

In line 8, when men’s faces are “strained or anxious” this suggests that they who are going through the war are worried and burdened by an outcome that is beyond their control

In stanza 3, the poet poses a question; Once again the dark night is described as a period of evil or moral darkness.

In line 10, the image of boots on the grass, convey an image of a defenseless people being crushed by a superior military force.

We are also left with the image of the environment being plundered by an actual invader.

In lines 11 – 12 we are told that the enemy;s aim is to destroy the aspirations of the sleeper. In other words the encroaching enemy has diverted a society that is either ill – prepared or powerless to act. The idea of being asleep here also suggests the idea of being defenseless

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Descend into an era of denial and sadism, Communism

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By God. Immortality was a dream. The health of a nation in its death throes were brought home to those who had arrived in the dreams.

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Or at least when all is said and done, just to say “let us be allies.”

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The peace that will ever last. Atonement will be a divine principle that must be enshrined. No one should forget it or be misunderstood. If “violence is the ultimate weapon, but no one is ready to face it, such bodies will continue to use that power for other ends.” God, therefore, will overcome all: she that stands for justice must be slain.

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The long and bitter hatred (through others) that divides us continues to serve us.

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Just as Saint John warned, none can be stopped. Those who live for a certain time can still bear an unpolished conscience.

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Сlimaxes or anticlimaxes in Enduring Love

Another climax begins at the end of chapter 21 with a phone call between Jed and Joe “I’m putting her on, OK? Are you there? Joe? Are you there?” Here McEwan uses juxtaposition of beginning an event within the formal closure of a chapter. The effect of this adds suspense to the novel as a whole as it wills the reader to follow the chain of events. Also, the panicked dialogue of “Are you there? Joe? Are you there?” heightens the climax by leaving it unresolved. McEwan continually references “sweat” in chapter 22 showing the physical exertion in each of the characters “sweat was beading on his forehead” illustrates the tension between Jed, Joe and Clarissa. Each reference to sweat made by McEwan reveals a subtle increase in the volume, beginning with “beading” ending with “rolling off Parry”. This is reflective of the tension of the climax as it builds up.Clarissa is given a voice in this chapter which shows how frightened she is but also reveals more about Joe’s character. The novel is told through the narrative perspective of Joe Rose, therefore Clarissa’s dialogue is under his control meaning that Joe is in full control of her voice and is able to dictate how the reader perceives her. Her small voice reveals that Joe sees her in as vulnerable. This portrays to the reader, Clarissa as a victim of both the situation and the narrative, creating sympathy for her within the climax. This is significant becauseit adds an alternate perspective to the novel. The sympathy created here is later emphasised in chapter 23 in which Clarissa finally gets an undistorted voice.McEwan continually uses sense in chapter22 which makes the scene more dramatic adding to the climax and is implies a rush of adrenaline which heightens the senses.

The description “she was still, but ripples of muscle and tendon at the base of her neck suggested that she was coiled” “I could hear my heart under my shirt” adds to the tension of the chapter which makes this particular climax significant as it creates a vivid image for the reader. Most of McEwan’s description revolves around tension, of the situation, of muscles; this subsequently builds tension within the reader, adding to the anticipation of the climax. As the novel draws to a close,McEwan finally clears the mystery of Jed Parry’s nature. This is significant to the climax as it dramatically changes the reader’sperspective on Jed, and perhaps the entirety of the novel. In Chapter 22, Jed is revealed to be a harmless soul, not at all a treat. All Jed wants is forgiveness from Joe “please forgive me, Joe, for what I did yesterday” which in a way acts as an anticlimax as the novel builds Jed up to be a harmful man with a vendetta,yet in actuality, all he wants is forgiveness. Joe is insistent on playing the hero, but is portrayed as being petrified of using a gun. Clarissa doesn’t seem to be pleased that Joe wanted to play the hero, nor does she see him as a hero which dulls the poignancy of the climax. Also Joe seems to be playing the anti-hero and Jed, the anti-terrorist. This is significant to the novel as it is juxtaposed to the stereotypical thriller/romancewhich the novel partially aims towards.

Mother’s love

The relationship of a daughter and mother who is kindhearted and caring towards her daughter is one of the most valuable person a child has and should take for granted. In the short story by Anna Quindlen called “Mothers” is about a nineteen year old girl who her name was never mentioned in the story. The narrative has lost her mother and is trying to accept the reality that she is gone. The nineteen-year-old girl describes her life situation as if her mother was still alive, mentioning, “taking care of the wedding arrangements, or come and stay for a week after the children were born.” The young girl is conflicted over the thought of fantasies and reality, realizing that if her mother were still alive she would have strongly bonded with her and value every single moment. The short story begins with the nineteen-year-old girl, observing two women at a corner table in the restaurant. It was an older woman with her daughter spending quality time. The narrative described her-self as “kind of vest pocket”, meaning she emotional feels empty and is stuck with no were to go. The narrative was wishing she had valued that moment with her mother when she had that opportunity. The girl seemed that she holds a regret inside of her because she did not have a good relationship with her mother.

How Do You Actually Learn to Love Yourself

5 ways to learn to love yourself more

1-Do something kind: There are lots of different ways to do something kind, but one of the best, long-term ways you can do something for someone else is by volunteering. For example, you could help out at a local swimming club, befriend an elderly person or use your marketing experience to promote a local charity.

2-Become your hero for the day: If you want to try this out for yourself choose someone that you can identify with, but who is also well known for his or her confidence. Then begin to act like them. Although you don’t have to speak in their accent, envisioning your hero can have a surprisingly positive impact upon your own body language and tone of voice.

3-Retrain your thoughts: How many times in a day do you think negatively about yourself? Now ask yourself how many times you compliment yourself during the day.A great way to alter your behaviour and learn to love yourself is to retrain the way you think. You can do this by following up every negative thought you have about yourself with a positive. For example, if you tell yourself that you are ugly, old or overweight, follow this bad thought up with something positive, like: ‘I have great skin, hair and a good smile’. Increasing the number of positive thoughts you have about yourself during the day will hopefully help you to enjoy being you and will help to boost your self-esteem.

4-Admit your flaws and take action: We all have flaws and that’s fine. It is just something that we have to accept. Yet some people’s flaws can interfere with their life and become an obstacle that stands between them and their happiness. If you have a flaw that is becoming a problem it is time to admit that you need to change.

5-Relationship analysis: There are some people in this life that are just no good for us. If you have friends, boyfriends, girlfriends or colleagues who undermine you, belittle you or are just plain mean, you need to have a thinking about confronting them about their behaviour.

This can be extremely daunting, especially if they bully you. Remember though that no one has the right to put you down and the only way people will stop acting in this way is if they know you won’t accept it. Be brave, plan what you are going to say so that you can communicate clearly and then sit down and talk through your issue face to face. If the problem continues it might be time to consider cutting them out of your life altogether. Life is too short to waste on people that don’t make you feel good and hanging around with negative people will make it hard for you to love yourself.

Harlow’s Theory: Love

The feeling of love is, deep, soft, satisfying. Because of its affectionate and intimate nature it is viewed by some as an inapplicable topic for experimental research. But, whatever our own perception may be, our assigned mission as psychologists is to analyze all facets of human and animal behavior into their component variables. (scientific American , June 1959) Therefore as far as love or affection is concerned, psychologists have been unsuccessful in this quest. The few things we know about love don’t go beyond simple examination, and the few things we read about it have been written better by poets and novelists. But of greater worry is the truth that psychologists tend to give way less attention to a impulse which penetrates our entire lives. At least psychologists who write books, not only show no importance in the cause and unfolding of love or affection, but they seem to be blinded of its very existence (scientific American, June 1959 )

The experiment

In the Wisconsin University lab, Harlow investigated the meaning of love, focusing on the relationships between a baby and its mother. He started by making it clear that the love between an infant and the mother was more of an emotional feeling rather than something psychological, suporting the adoption-friendly theory that connection of care—“nurture”—was a far more determining factor in healthy psychological development than “nature.” (Harry F. Harlow, 1959) Then he showed how early periods of time are crucial to the capacity of attachment, If the early days or weeks of the infant were lost it would be really hard or even hopeless to compensate for the loss of initial emotional comfort. The critical period thesis confirmed the idea of assigning infants with adoptive mothers as shortly after being born. Harlow’s Hypothesis gave experimental affirmation for prioritizing psychological over biological motherhood while the advancing risks of adopting babies beyond birth. It normalized and pathologized adoption at the same time. ( Harry F. Harlow, 1959)

In his experiment Harlow detached baby monkeys from their mother’s hours after being born, later arranged the baby animals to be nurtured by two kinds of artificial monkey mothers. The first mother, mainly made out of bare wire mesh was equipped to dispense milk. The other was a wire mother covered with soft terry cloth almost like fur. Harlow’s first examination was that baby monkeys that were given a choice of artificial mothers spent far more time clinging to the terry cloth, even if they didn’t have a milk dispenser. This suggested that infant love was no simple response to the satisfaction of physiological needs. Attachment was not primarily about hunger or thirst. “It could not be reduced to nursing” (Harry F. Harlow 1958)

After the results Harlow made a few more arrangements in his experiment and made yet another important observation. Harlow tried separating the infants into two different variables one group was given only the wired mother while the other was given the mother with the cloth. all the babies drank the same amount of milk and grew at the same rate. Yet the similarities ended at that. The babies who were given a soft, physical contact with their cloth mothers behaved quite differently than babies whose mothers were made out of cold, hard wire. Harlow hypothesized that members of the first group benefitted from a psychological resource—emotional attachment—unavailable to members of the second. By providing reassurance and security to infants, cuddling kept normal development on track. (John Wiley and Sons, 1980)

Monsters

What could have been the exact reason that made Harlow sure that emotional attachment was a decisive part of developmental differences? Harlow made another observation when he decided to scare the baby monkeys with strange, loud objects like machines that almost looked like monsters hitting drums. The monkeys raised by furry cloth mothers made physical contact with their mothers, brushed against them, and eventually made them feel secure. Harlow theorized that they used their mothers as a “psychological base of operations,” allowing them to remain playful and inquisitive after the initial fright had subsided.( John Wiley and Sons, 1980) On the other hand, babies nurtured by wire mesh mothers did not run to their mothers when scared. Rather, they threw themselves on the floor, clinched themselves, rocked back and forth, and screamed in fear. “These behaviors intimately mimicked the actions of autistic and deprived children often seen in institutions as well as the pathological behavior of adults confined to mental institutions”.( Harry F. Harlow, 1959) The awesome power of attachment and loss over mental health and illness could hardly have been performed more dramatically.

Isolation

In later experiments, Harlow’s monkeys proved that better late than never was not always right specially when it came to nurturing an infant. When Harlow allocated his baby monkeys in total isolation for the first 8 months of their life, forsaking their contact with other babies or with the artificial mothers, they were permanently hurt. Harlow and his friends kept repeating this experiments, assigning baby monkeys to diffrent periods of isolation times. They came up with the conclusion that the impact of early motherly deprivation could be reversed in monkeys only if it had lasted less than 90 days, and estimated that the equivalent for humans was six months. (Harry F. Harlow, 1959)After these critical periods, no amount of exposure to mothers or peers could change the monkeys’ anomalistic behaviors and make up for the emotional damage that had already happened. When emotional bonds were first established was the key to whether they could be established at all. (scientific American,1959 )

In the following investigations, Harlow showed that baby monkeys could also turn to their cloth artificial mother for peacefulness and protection. Placing them in a weird situation Harlow allowed the baby monkeys to explore a room both in the presence of their artificial mother and in her absence. Monkeys in the presence of their mother would use her as a secure base to explore the room, by running around the room to explore and going back to their mothers for satey. When the artificial mothers were removed from the room, the effects were tremendous. The baby monkeys no longer had their secure base to explore the room and would often freeze up, crouch, rock, scream, and cry. (Harlow, Harry.1958)

Years after

Despites Harry Harlow’s work claiming and reinforcing a wealth of research on love, affection, and motherly relationships, his own personal life later started to fall into pieces. After the life threatening illness of his wife, he drowned in alcoholism and depression, eventually becoming separated from his own kids. Friends often described him as sarcastic, thigh-fisted, mercenary, obstinate, and cruel. “Yet Harlow’s enduring legacy reinforced the importance of emotional support, affection, and love in the development of children.” (Williams & Wilkins. 1964)

Conclusion

Harlow’s experiments showed the significance of having a mother or a parent, or even a mechanical mother. The monkeys showed tremendous affection for the artificial mother and it demonstrated how much they needed them. This only leads me to think of the poor abandoned babies whose parents past away or simply left them for adoption and the effect that that is going to cause in their future. I’ve also heard in videos I have seen through my history classes of soilders in WWI. As they were dying the last words that would come out of their mouths would be “mom”. We sometimes forget and take for granted what we have, I’em very lucky to say I always had my mother with me and I em so grateful for that.

References

Harry F. Harlow, “Love in Infant Monkeys,” Scientific American 200 (June 1959):68, 70, 72-73, 74 Blum, Deborah. Love at Goon Park: Harry Harlow and the Science of Affection. Perseus Publishing, 2002, p. 225 “Harry Harlow.” A Science Odyssey. PBS. Web. 11 October 2013 McKinney, William T. (2003). Love at Goon Park: Harry Harlow and the Science of Affection. American Journal of Psychiatry, 160, 2254-2255 Harlow, H.F. Early social deprivation and later behavior in the monkey. Pp. 154-173 in: Unfinished tasks in the behavioral sciences (A.Abrams, H.H. Gurner & J.E.P. Tomal, eds.) Baltimore: Williams & Wilkins. 1964. Harlow HF, Dodsworth RO, Harlow MK. “Total social isolation in monkeys,” Proc Natl Acad Sci U S A. 1965 Harlow HF, Dodsworth RO, Harlow MK. “Total social isolation in monkeys,” Proc Natl Acad Sci U S A. 1965 Harlow HF, Dodsworth RO, Harlow MK. “Total social isolation inmonkeys,” Proc Natl Acad Sci U S A. 1965 Harlow HF, Dodsworth RO, Harlow MK. “Total social isolation in monkeys,” Proc Natl Acad Sci U S A. 1965

With Harry Harlow at My Little Theatre in New York City,Harlovalle R. Shanley, Robert S. Nagle, andBaylor E. Gilmore, researchers wanted to show people how their brains were stimulated when they saw the character in their films or books. (The authors describe is further demonstrated in Harlow’s biography and in those working with Babcock in Pulp Fiction and TV in 1968 and two-dozen articles mentioning Harry Harlow as an early social-neglect agent.) If people are fully aware of the character, they are less likely to behave badly or aggressively when friends or family members act out their feelings in the guise of charity. (Harlow mentions other examples of this practice as well. In one film about an impoverished 13-year-old who finds out that his brother is now living with AIDS, he becomes fully aware of his feelings and he becomes introverted and annoyed.) Harlow is taken to the Salt Lake City Mission and depicted in several films as an ex-pat who was hospitalized during a voyage of discovery, were forced to live in his old clothes and performed bodily functions such as separation from his wife, and were initially characterized by concern for their welfare. Harlow is played by Robert S. Nagle. > >## You can read Truman Capote in Blue Velvet by viewing this bookmark (NIGLE &MASTER H. SHANLEY (1963)) and watching this page on my web page (Murphy M. Myers & ADAMS A. MALTON (1964)). J, Walter W. 1959. A History of Children: Evolutionary Observation and Relationships between Animals and Humans. William Morrow North America, University of Nebraska Press. The authors thank Susan Franken for the entire development of this book. The cricketers, “”Mary O’Leary (enlisted), Henry Monroe (named), and Stu McKinnon (Former student of Harlow’s), did not participate in this research, but (in part), believe Harlow taught them how to play fair tennis by 1969. Franken did not cite a quote from Harlow in his biography, but apparently may have attended meetings of this group in his youth. Reference from Professor Kalomidi the Monk, Princeton University, 1988, pp. 101-1. “Click here for more information on Harlow’s early social isolation and role in his disease-causing work.” On June 20,

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